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So it begins.
February 03, 2003 ~ 1:38 AM
In Noah's profile: "God damn this desire to relive the past, to relive a moment, to hold on to a memory. -me" My response: "You have this desire to relive the past, relive a moment, hold onto a memory. And what about the future? A new moment? A new memory? Live that." That's all I have to say about that.
I met the coolest guy today online. His name's Casey. Real nice fellow lives in Santa Cruz. He's got a lot in common with Noah... it's wild. Lol. Really really nice guy... Hard to find those... especially ones who have girlfriends that they are in love with... I would post the convo here but you don't really wanna read it. Yellow is a primary color. Ask anyone. Noah insists it's not. He thinks the primary colors are red, blue, and green... well you can make green with yellow and blue... so it must not be a primary color. If it can be made it's a secondary color. I'm gonna buy him dinner at Saturn Caf� anyway. Cuz I can. That's what we bet but it's really all good. Lol. He's a dork. I love him. He's right, it's finally getting through my head that the boy needs space and that I need to leave him alone. I'm doing better. I promise. I was looking at Jones soda today and I found one with the Golden Gate Bridge on it.. Had to get it. I hate soda but it reminded me of me and Noah's first trip together... to San Francisco... Heh. It makes me happy that I can see the love in his eyes... and it keeps me happy. I don't need a constant reminder that he loves me, I know he does. I just need my daily dose of him anyway cuz I love him too much and I do miss him when I'm apart from him too long. Silly little thing today I upset him... Taqueria. That's just to remind me what happened when I read this in the future... You don't get to know the details. Only Peter knows the details. But I'm over it and I'm sure {hopefully} that Noah's over it so why bring it out to show again, right? Ew. I need to clean my room since I'm sleeping alone tonight... I need to get Tylenol PM. I need to change my name then find my social security card or apply for a new one. And I need to call Melvin. Noah accused me of being flakey. Lol. ... Heh. I used to accuse my sister of being that... and I guess now I'm flakey too. I'm such a weirdo. I tell my sister don't drink, don't do drugs, keep your virginity, do good in school, don't procrastinate, etc etc etc. HA! If only I had an older sister who could have given me that advice before it was too late. Iono. She learns from my mistakes... I'm worried about who she's becoming though. Eck. Hmmm.... I'm wearing my black underwear that sez "You Wish" on it. I never understood that. If the guy already got your pants off then wouldn't it be a wish come true? Or something. I'm just tired. Back to cleaning. {Noah doesn't know it, but I'm gonna marry him someday. I decided this for sure today. I dunno why. Maybe it was talking about Lauren and Colin's wedding n stuff. Not for a long while though. We'll see if we can work it out. We've got our little kinks to work out... and our huge knots too... but yeah. If we can work it out then that's great. I'm scaring him with talk of commitment. I usually don't even think about marriage... it's Lauren's fault!}
2:06AM - Lol. I just reread it and you must all be wondering what is beginning... cuz yeah... Lol. That's my title and my entry sed nothing about... anyway. I meant my giving Noah space. And being without him 24/7 which I'm so used to. My having my Prozac and being able to handle things better... like lonliness... Just not sleeping with him for the whole week. So that begins. Now I guess. Or a few hours ago anyway. I give up on homework. Tomorrow night, though. I'm gonna be typing in here about how proud I am of myself for doing my math homework or my chem homework. One of those. Just watch!! =P I'll do it.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....