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If only.
February 02, 2003 ~ 4:46 AM
I just wanted to say that I love Noah a lot. He got off the computer to go get Ramen from my room... and he passed out on his bed {that has no sheets on it}. He's so cute. I wonder if he's dreaming about Ramen? =] My precious wonderful Noah. He let me play with his candles. He's got red and blue and yellow. Perfect, primary colors. I made purple and orange. Go me. I can mix colors. It was so fun earlier on. Me and Noah were chilling on his bed after making love so I was naked and he was just in his boxers. I went to the fridge and got out that big huge 1 gallon bottle of Crystal Geyser to pour a cup of water. I drank some water then Noah wanted some. So I pour him a cup. He takes a sip and then he pours the rest on ME! I had no clothes on. And the water was straight from the fridjigator!!! Gra! I got pissed and I threw the whole rest of the gallon on him... or tried to. Then there was this whole fight for the gallon of water thing. Lol. It was so fun. I guess you had to be there. Anyway his bed is soaked and that's why there are no sheets. Everything got soaked! Lol. It was fun. I'm doing his laundry right now. Late night laundry runs. Go me. Oh Peter was all sad today. It made me really really sad too. Cuz I was in a good mood. And Peter was all boo and cranky... I'm glad he got betterer. =] Yay Pooter Libbity! {Which is my new name for him} He came by to visit and he had trail mix!!! It was good trail mix... mmm... I loved the peanut butter chips in it. And there were M&Ms and raisens and peanuts and cashews and yucky almonds. It was yummy. I finished the rest of his bag that he had... he let me, of course. Peter's nice like that. He always gives me good food. Like Little Debbie's Oatmeal Cream Pies.... mmmmm... I love those. Those are so good. I think they are my new favorite food... after Froot Loops of course!!! =] I really do feel bad about annoying Noah earlier... when he was on his computer. I think I just like kissing him period. Or som'n. But if he's not gonna appreciate it then why kiss him... He knows I love him without my showing him affection 24/7 you know? I remember earlier when I was about to leave to do his laundry, I asked him to kiss me and tell me he loves me... and he looked at me... WOW there was so much love and just adoration in his eyes right there that I almost felt embarrassed for asking him to do that... it was enough just that look... He loves me so much and I don't need to be with him all the time or hear him say it to know that. I know it everytime he ends up sleeping with me even though he says he won't, everytime he looks at me with all his heart in his gaze, when he apologizes for making me cry, when he makes love to me even though there are a million things that he'd rather do, when he gives me permission to play with his candles even though he knows I'm gonna make a mess, when I do something dorky or dumb or something and he laughs joyfully and tells me that I'm adorable even though I have no idea what I did to make him think that. Just all those little things and the big things... I'm so thankful for Noah, the love of my life, and Peter, a best friend for life. Both people that will always be here for me and that I know. You know? I'm so thankful for Stephanie for whatever she's had to do to deal when I didn't have Prozac first quarter... for Lauren cuz she's always got a smile and a hug and some love for me... for Andrew because that boy is just amazing and I will love him forever as a friend and no more... for Josh cuz he made me stop hating myself and actually believe in myself and think higher of myself and know that I am pretty and I do have a great personality and that I am a good person and for just giving me that chance to show my stuff... even for my parents cuz they've affected me so much and every little nuance of my relationship with them has had an impact on this person that I am today. My relationships with the people around me now will hopefully aid in my development as a person even more because I know I have my fatal flaws... If only I didn't have to think about money. And if only I could whip out some motivation to excell in school. If only... If only life were perfect and people didn't die and no one suffered and animals weren't abused and racism was nil and love never hurt. If only, right? Only if there is such thing as miracles.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....