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Getty Center & Gary Numan
May 27, 2002 ~ 12:05 AM
I went to the Getty Center today. It's like a museum. Absolutely breath-takingly beautiful. There's a collection of artwork that had belonged to J Paul Getty. I love Greek mythology. All of the artwork- originals. Oh, it was divine. I loved it. And the fountains. I absolutely adore fountains; water is such a beautiful element. The gardens were so sweet and tranquil; the grass was so green. It was unbelievable. The architecture and design of the buildings is gorgeous. I was amazed by it. I did not get a chance to see all of the paintings due to the fact that I was marveling over the beautiful garden and the awesome fountains but I plan on going back again to look at every one of the remaining painting, save the overly religious ones. Did I mention that the fountains there were adorable? They had hedges surrounded by water in the Central Garden and the water came down into the 'garden' from a waterfall. The water travels down three whole stories, starting from the third level and falls down through a whole in that fountain to the second level. From there, it collects in a small pool and this pool overfills into a small stream that rushes hurriedly downhill. It then travels under rocks and four bridges and cascades down a stone waterfall into the most bottom level where the hedges are. The flowers were pretty too. There were these huge yellow flowers that hung upside down from trees, myriad little purple flowers of all different types, and these poppy-like flowers that looked like lady-bugs since they were that red with black spots. So nice.
I love fountains so much. They are so beautiful. I want to go back the the Getty Center again but even more, I wish to revisit the Water Court in Downtown LA again. That place is exquisite. Soothing and breathtaking for anyone who likes fountains. It's so nice. I couldn't believe my eyes when I discovered that treasure right smack in middle of the pollution capital of California. It was like a breath of fresh air. I spent well over five hours just being there... and getting wet... LOL.
I finished all my forms for UCSC tonight while I was in Santa Monica visiting my grandparents. Such a relief. I'll mail it on Tuesday when the Postal Service is back up and running again.
I was listening to STAR 98.7 tonight on the radio on the way home from Santa Monica. They were playing funky 80s music. It reminded me of Adam so much. He was in love with 80s synthesized music. It's pretty awesome cuz I was just thinking of him when they played that song Cars by Gary Numan. That's Adam's idol. A lot of things remind me of Adam and I miss him a lot. Just the stupidest things. Like when I was putting on my eyeliner today. I thought of him. Since he wore eyeliner to Prom. I know I should regret Prom night, but I really don't. I am so glad to have that memory of him. I still would take him back. One of his friends were on his screenname pretending to be him again. I actually believed him (stupid me) that 'he' wanted me back. I was overjoyed and so so hopeful. Then he gave himself away by saying 'I want anal sex'. It was like my heart physically dropping. I mean, I felt it plummet and hit the ground. Then of course I felt really stupid. How can people be so damned mean? Don't they have any regard for the feelings of others? I like Adam so much. They had NO right to toy with my emotions like that. I feel that one day my trust will be the end of me. People think I am naive. That I don't know. That's honestly not the case. Not at all. I know perfectly fine that people can be cruel and mean and abusive and manipulative and dishonest. I KNOW. I'm really not stupid. I just have this thing: I am honest to people. I am nice to people. I trust people. So I continue to hope that people will be the same to me. That maybe there is good in everybody. Maybe, if I give them a chance, and show them kindness, I will get kindness in return... That usually doesn't work. But even though I get hurt so much, I naturally trust people still. I don't understand. I think it's unfair that I am abused for my kindness. Well, I don't really feel sorry for myself... but... I do believe it is unjust. If it were someone else in my position I would feel it is unjust. I used to feel sorry for myself. But now I just accept it... Maybe one day... Nah. Won't happen. =P
I had another dream with Adam in it last night. It was bizarre. My AP English teacher Mrs. Prince was in it too. And some other guy that I have never net before in my whole entire life. He was Adam's friend. But I've never even met any of his friends. I've seen pix but it wasn't any of them. So yeah. It was kinda a pointless dream. I was the one driving, Adam was riding shotgun, and his friend... I don't even remember his name.. was in the back seat. I was driving like a white Ford. I don't even know what kinda car it was. I just knew it was a Ford. And Adam and his friend wanted to get high, so I was driving up into the mountains. But it wasn't my mountains... like it wasn't Glendora Mountain Road (GMR). It went in the opposite direction and it wasn't very steep. Well, wait, it wasn't in the opposite direction but instead of going north like GMR, it went west. It was like a bumpy road and it was really dark. And for some weird reason, I didn't have my headlights turned on, so I couldn't really see anything. By this time Adam and his friend were passing a pipe back and forth. I decided to stop the car in middle of the road (no, I don't know why) and then suddenly there were headlights coming at me. And I remembered thinking What the heck, this is a one way street! Then I did that really frustrating thing where I woke up panting and my heart beating really fast. Yeah... It was kinda a lot weird. I really don't know why I had that dream. I usually have dreams where me and Adam have sex. So this is why this dream was special. No sex. Not even anything close to sexual.
I'm thinking about making my diary private. Because I am using this as a real diary only because I ran out of pages in my tangible diary and I haven't had the time to buy a new one. The reason why, being that one of the person who reads my diary, well, I wrote about him and he wants me to 'edit it'. I'm very not used to having to edit my diary. My diary was like the only thing I had for myself, so excuse me for being a little selfish about it. I write it for my benefit. Not for the people that I write about. No one has even touched my four filled diaries in my drawer. They are my thoughts and my feelings and my reactions and I don't appreciate people telling me to change that. I'm just not used to it. So (you know who you are) just so you know, I sorry but won't edit my diary; however, I will make my diary private if you so wish. So only I can read it. =P Please do remember that as much as I love you, this is my diary and I can write anything I want in it just as I did with my other four diaries.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
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