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He didn't call me...
August 12, 2002 ~ 12:15 AM
Twice. I called him yesterday... he said he had to go. He said he would call me back. He didn't. I called him again today... he told me he got the phone taken away from him last night cuz he got home late. Okay. Then he asked me "Hey, can I call you back?" I asked him "Why?" He asked me "Pretty please? Let me call you back." I said "Fine." He didn't call me back. I can't believe it. This sucks. Now I'm all sad. Yesterday (8-10-02) I risked my butt and drove down to see him. Everything seemed all good. Then when I called him later on he was all 'I hafta go' and stuff. Arg. I dunno. I could just be over-reacting cuz I'm on my period. I'm all sad now, though. He didn't call me. =( I wonder if it was something that I did. Or said. I hope I didn't fuck this up for myself. I'll hate myself forever. I won't call him tonight but I'll try to call him again tomorrow. He says that he doesn't want me getting attached to him. HA! Too late. I'm very much so attached. And I do believe I love the man. He's so perfect. I'm gonna be really pathetic tonight and stay awake to wait for his call. I'm so scared that he might not call me... and what that would imply. That's terrible! Today I went to Santa Monica. I was all excited cuz absolutely no one hit on me. Which never happens. I was actually happy about it. For some weird reason, I simply find other guys annoying now. It's cuz honestly, no one can compare to Abel. I really really really really hope he calls me tonight. Cuz if he doesn't I'm gonna be crying. A lot. For the next few weeks. And it won't be explainable to my parents... cuz they think I haven't seen him since the night of his last show I went to. I'd do anything for him. I don't know what I'll do if he brushes me off again when I have to call him tomorrow. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I'm prolly looking too much into this. I'm just so scared of losing him and so scared of getting my heart broken again. I don't know. Maybe I just think too much, yes? I think so. Wishful thinking and optimism kicking in. He's to wonderful a person to break my heart. I believe he'll say yes to be my boyfriend in the end too. I'm doing something that may be foolish- I'm putting my faith in him.
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