Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry lost... April 22, 2003 ~ 2:04 AM i had to leave. yoshi and amy and brian and erin and eric and chelsea were all cuddling on the couch around me... i went on a walk. i called abel. he still cares about me. didn't care. ocean was beautiful. didn't care. started raining. didn't care. stepped on a snail. didn't care. passed the school that me and noah stopped at one time. i'd been sad. he'd been worried. stopped to talk to me. i cared. i hurt. i died a little more inside. little spark of hope. isn't that love? isn't it? true love? but shouldn't true love be forever? why am i not asleep in my bed at college ten, then? in noah's arms? in noah's heart? on the eggcrate he got me? with my homework done? my reading done? my essay graded? my research started? my monologue done? the rain on my glasses made the world seem as though through tear filled eyes. tears that i no longer have. tears i don't want to shed for anyone. i came back and erin and brian were sleeping on the couch. where i'm supposed to sleep. and chelsea and eric were having sex in the shower. i miss noah. i hate him. i wanna be in love again. i wanna hide in that pretty illusion that true love exists and just be in love again. be with my noah again. there is no happily ever after. there are no dream come trues. the reason why i know this, noah, is cuz i'm in love with you. i love him. but he doesn't love me. means we are not in love. being in love is a two way thing. it just doesn't exist. cuz true love lasts forever. and if what me and noah had wasn't true love then nothing is. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .