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True love, suck my balls.
April 21, 2003 ~ 10:37 PM
VEGG1E Kat: hey, yoshi
Auto response from XvMidNiteMagevx: AFK!!!! ill be back in a bit.. jus leave me a lil message
XvMidNiteMagevx: *meow* ^_^ :hug:
Auto response from VEGG1E Kat: I just don't give a fuck anymore.
VEGG1E Kat: is NoahDekkers online?
XvMidNiteMagevx: not sure.. lemme check.
VEGG1E Kat: thanks
XvMidNiteMagevx: nope.. sowee.
VEGG1E Kat: iss okay
VEGG1E Kat: hey
XvMidNiteMagevx: :-(
VEGG1E Kat: i've always been alone
VEGG1E Kat: always
VEGG1E Kat: ...
VEGG1E Kat: and i made it
VEGG1E Kat: tried to kill myself 5 times but still
VEGG1E Kat: i made it
XvMidNiteMagevx: O.o
VEGG1E Kat: then i met noah and i wasn't alone
VEGG1E Kat: now i'm alone again
VEGG1E Kat: i think my alone and your alone are different though
VEGG1E Kat: i'm alone even when i'm at the mall surrounded by a million people
XvMidNiteMagevx: believe me.. its not.
VEGG1E Kat: for once in my life i wasn't alone... i always thought that there might be a possibility of a true love or a companion or a soulmate
VEGG1E Kat: wishful thinking on my part
VEGG1E Kat: very wishful thinking
VEGG1E Kat: we're always alone
VEGG1E Kat: if we can't do it for ourselves we're screwed
XvMidNiteMagevx: stop beating yourself up.. it only makes the hurt that much worst.
VEGG1E Kat: but if we can't do it by ourselves we're screwed
VEGG1E Kat: cuz when it comes down to it, no one can do it for you
XvMidNiteMagevx: :nods:
VEGG1E Kat: everyone is self-sufficient to some degree or another
VEGG1E Kat: cuz we are always alone
VEGG1E Kat: forever and always
VEGG1E Kat: i used to love those two words
VEGG1E Kat: now i hate them
VEGG1E Kat: i fought so hard to just live and worked my ass off to learn
VEGG1E Kat: but when it comes down to it, i was really looking for love
VEGG1E Kat: love is to me what god is to most people
VEGG1E Kat: it gave me somethign to believe in
VEGG1E Kat: so even though they are alone they have god. and even though i was alone i had love
VEGG1E Kat: something to look forward to
VEGG1E Kat: heaven
VEGG1E Kat: a reason
VEGG1E Kat: there's no such thing as god
VEGG1E Kat: i no longer think that there is such thing as true love, either
XvMidNiteMagevx: there is.. you just need the patiants and strength of will to find it.
VEGG1E Kat: cuz if love were real, i would be revising my second essay in my dorm room three floors above noah dekkers right now
XvMidNiteMagevx: hey kat.. are you downstairs?
VEGG1E Kat: not eating cold mac and cheese wondering what to write for my first essay and holdign back tears
XvMidNiteMagevx: i have to get off cuz sean needs to use the comp.. you want me to come down if you need someone to talk to?
VEGG1E Kat: if love were real i would be kissing noah goodnight every night at 11 when i go to bed
VEGG1E Kat: nah
VEGG1E Kat: i have trouble talking
VEGG1E Kat: writing is what i do best
VEGG1E Kat: =]
XvMidNiteMagevx: love is real. true love is hard to find. you may have truely loved him, but he may not share those same feelings.
VEGG1E Kat: there is no such thing as true love
VEGG1E Kat: i found that out the hard way
XvMidNiteMagevx: know that true love exists..
XvMidNiteMagevx: your just giving up too early
VEGG1E Kat: yoshi?
XvMidNiteMagevx: you still have your whole life ahead of you. its to early to quit
VEGG1E Kat: i gave up too late
VEGG1E Kat: i realized too late
VEGG1E Kat: well i suspected but still decided to follow my heart
VEGG1E Kat: now i no longer have my heart
XvMidNiteMagevx: you do.. its just broken.. it needs time to mend.
VEGG1E Kat: i don't have it
VEGG1E Kat: i gave it to noah
VEGG1E Kat: i'll never take it back
VEGG1E Kat: because if what he and i had wasn't true love then i cannot believe in the idea
VEGG1E Kat: it just doesn't exist then
VEGG1E Kat: now let sean have his computer, sweetie
XvMidNiteMagevx: no.. because you and noah arent together you dont WANT true love to exist.
VEGG1E Kat: ?
XvMidNiteMagevx: anyway.. ill talk to you later.
XvMidNiteMagevx: think about it.
XvMidNiteMagevx signed off at 10:36:12 PM.
Trust me, Yoshi, I want more than anything for true love to exist. Cuz that love defined me.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
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