Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry I fucking hate everything. EVERYTHING!!! April 29, 2003 ~ 2:12 AM Yeah, so I went to Medi-Cal today. They talked to me and just gave me a list of shit that I need to bring them... um, hello?!!? So they couldn't have just asked me to bring it today. They need me to mail all this crap in a fax some other shit. Tell me again why the fuck I'm alive and why I'm trying? GR! Ugh. I'm so disgusted with the government. Yeah. So Newberry wants me to withdraw from Writing one. Okay. Sure. I didn't really wanna take that class anyway. And you know how Grace said that I would be able to move today for sure? Well. Guess what. Yeah, I could not get a hold of her at all. She seems to enjoy flaking on me and NOT having her phone with her. So I'm still here with Eric and Chelsea. Mhmm. They are gonna go fuck now. Fun, huh. And Erin and Brian are all snuggled on the couch. Which is where I'm supposed to sleep. I don't really have the heart to wake them up.. I miss that feeling so much... falling asleep in Noah's arms... I remember that feeling... amazing feeling... I don't wanna ruin it for them. Maybe I'll just sorta ease onto the other side and try not to kick them. Cuz they couch is like L shaped. I can sleep on the | part while they sleep on the _ part. I'm so jealous of them, though. I'm surrounded by a bunch of people who have someone. Brian and Erin, Eric and Chelsea, Matt and Cynthia, Sean and Courtney, Yoshi and Amy, Jimmy and Quincey. I feel so godawfully alone. I wonder why? I wonder if he thinks of me... if he still loves me. If he remembers having me in his arms and that love between us. I wonder if he cries every night like I do. I wonder if he cares. If it weren't raining I'd go take a walk. I wanna get over this cold so no rain walking for me. Eesh. Going off to class tomorrow. I'm still really really sick. Been trying to take care of myself. But you know that's always a hard thing to do when you wanna die... Just doesn't work, you know? I'm sure he's all caught up. Gonna get straight As this quarter. I know he will. I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if I'll even get Medi-Cal. FUCK!!! Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .