Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry go me!!! June 16, 2003 ~ 2:40 AM I spent a whole hour and a half talking to Josh Cook and we didn't kiss. I'm so fucking proud of myself. No matter what, everytime I see him, doesn't matter if he's got a girlfriend or I'm seeing someone or what, he ALWAYS can get me to kiss him. I think it's cuz he was my first kiss... And I do love him so. As a friend, sure, but yeah... So he's back with Ally. But he wanted to kiss me. And I didn't let him... It was awesome and I couldn't believe myself when I walked away without even letting him touch his mouth to mine!!! And earlier today, two photo shoots. Both were sorta meh but I'm proud of myself cuz I did a good job of managing my time, etc and stuff. I got paid $60 and I stayed totally strong to my statement about not doing nudes. I mean, $400/hour. No nudes! I just kept on saying "No nudes" everytime the guy insinuated it. I'm so proud of myself. No longer that girl who just wants to make everyone happy. The one who looks out for everyone else but herself. I mean, I couldn't give a fuck about this photographer dude. Why should I do ANYTHING that makes me feel uncomfortable and cheap and trashy and slutty just to make him happy? I love modeling. I'm doing this for me and no matter how much money he wants to pay me, I'm not doing this for the photographer. If we both benefit then great if not then oh well. I got to talk to Auriel tonight. He called me. I miss that boy so much... I like him more and more I think that absence does make the heart grow fonder. I know my love for Noah is getting stronger. Unfortunately. Lol. Me and Auriel should be dating. But no, Noah's gotta have my heart. Lol. I think the only thing I would go for right now is just a simple title boyfriend. Like Evan... I barely even count him as a boyfriend and I don't remember the relationship cuz I basically dated him for the sake of dating someone. {to get over Abel} Which is why I can't date Auriel. He deserves a million times better. Me and Andy have been talking more and stuff I'm totally getting to know him better. I think it's safe to say we're becoming friends? He doesn't know it but he's hella cool. He's seen so many movies! I'm glad that he's opening up and talking to me more. =] I really do hope to become friends with him. He's a really good person... I know I'll have no problem becoming great friends with Linda; me and her are so much alike. {Except replace my obsession with cats with an obsession with hamsters} Andy likes cats, too. So that just makes him all the more cooler to me. Lol. I can't wait to go see snakes with that one guy that I met at the bus stop that one time... Mitch. The color-blind graduate student who randomly bought me lunch. Hehe. Um... I'm gonna go pee and hit the couch cuz I'm exhausted to no end and there's an aphid crawling on the computer screen. By the way, I no longer hate Windows XP so very much... I guess it's okay. =P I think I'm gonna put the link to my pix on my kitty picture... the original picture that got me the modeling jobs... hehe. Instead of having the link go to Face The Jury... You know what? I could just put another pic up there for this new link... duh. I'll do it when I'm more coherent. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .