Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry back to bed.... July 20, 2003 ~ 11:16 AM The mother fucker needs to stop updating his diary. It's like TAUNTING me. "I'm alive but you'll never know how I'm doing." He might as well be dead to me. I'm dead to him. I'm going back to bed. This is depressing. I miss Noah. More so... I miss Matt. My darling little boy. well see it would be unfair for me to have any sort of boyfriend, right? unfair for said boyfriend... i might still be in love with Noah Dekkers. i mean... iono. i wish travis would move to california. or emmitt would get a clue. i'm over Noah... or am when i'm sober. which prolly means that i'm not {god fucking dammit} but really... i am... it doesn't really hurt anymore. more like... pisses me off... i get pissed off easily now. {have i mentioned yet that i hate the person i've become after Noah broke up with me?} i had a dream about him. then for some weird reason, i woke up this morning expecting Noah to be next to me. of course he wasn't what the fuck was i thinking in my drunken stupor. must be the taking of the prozac with vodka. and now i feel like throwing up. cuz shit. i'm alone. i'm going back to bed. depression fucking sucks ass. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .