Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry oh, bother. July 24, 2003 ~ 3:06 PM you know what really bothers me about all of this? i'm not gonna feel bad for hurting emmett's feelings. what a bitch. isn't that weird? me who could barely EVER say no cuz i don't wanna hurt people... cuz i've been hurt so much. noah stole my heart. i don't care anymore i guess? i mean... ugh. trent kitty. that was just stupid. brandon. that was just wishful thinking. emmett i guess was a chase. play with boys. i have the boy that i want to be with. matt. oh. something else that bothers me about all this. i'm okay with the fact that i won't ever fall in love with matt. it's just... not a problem. i wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him. but i won't ever be in love with him. noah's still the only one. the love of my life. fucker. i am so very fond of matt. and i love him dearly but i think as one would love a cat or a dog? a friend and companion. that's a horrible thing to say. i really shouldn't say that. he's a doll. he's a wonderful WONDERFUL boy. but i'm not in love with him. yet i'm going to hurt emmett for him. bitch bitch bitch. i don't understand this. and it bothers me. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .