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Here is a link to all my pictures of Matt.
August 12, 2003 ~ 4:19 AM
I take a whole lot of pictures of him I guess. It woulda been one month today. But it's not because... Iono. Cuz I broke up with him. I was stupid. I was scared. I was paranoid. I was heartbroken and unhappy and lost and alone. And I thought he was too good to be true. And he's 17. There's that, too. I guess I used that more as an excuse than anything. I dunno. Now I know, we all know, that if he asked me out right now, I'd say yes. No hesitation. Even with other wonderful single guys in my life. Fuck Niko and Nick and Neno and Nate. LOL. Wow... all the guys I'd consider dating right now/want to date have N names. I haven't realized that. Til now. And then there's Noah. Maybe it's Noah related. So why am I with Matt? Lol. M comes before N. Okay, I think too much. It's just a coincidence that at the moment I'm interested in some guys whose names start with N. So what? Get over it, Kat. Lol. Anywho. Here's my baby: {click the picture}
So I wrote his mother an email. It was 7K according to Yahoo. Then the computer froze. And I lost the email. I'm not gonna write it again. I'm just not. Heh. OH! I have 50 Shines now!!! *Yay* I can't believe it. I have more that half of what Andy's got. I might catch up to him soon? =] Prolly not. So yeah, tomorrow is Matt's last day of work. And then he is leaving the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. I'll miss him. I know that he's gonna come visit me all the time anyway. But meh. Lol. Whatever. I ate Lucky Charms yesterday morning and my poo was green again. I think I'm gonna make Matt eat some Lucky Charms this morning in a few hours. Then I can know if Lucky Charms = green poo for everyone or if I'm just special... =P lol. My feet are cold. And my neck hurts. And the area right under my boobs itch. And I want the Audioslave CD. And I'm jealous of Matt's mom cuz he loves her and he doesn't love me. {Although he certainly acts like it} Maybe he won't ask me out. He's thinking of moving out of state. He'd wanted to move to Colorado since his sophomore year. But now he's got me and he's not too sure. I wish he doesn't leave. He'd prolly choose snowboarding over me. Lol. But if I were him I prolly would, too. I really don't want to be like, no stay here with me. Cuz I'm just that older girl who showed him what a physical relationship is like. The girl who thinks he still can't really kiss that well. He doesn't love me but neither am I nothing. He enjoys spending time with me. And I with him. We are so incompatible and such opposites that we attach like the N and S of 2 magnets. And he doesn't do drugs. I wish he'd at least smoke weed. So we could get high together or something. Lol. I'm bad. And I get to see him in 4 hours! *yay* I'm gonna go cuddle up in my bed and read more of The Jungle. I forgot how great this book is.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....