Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry reasons for crying October 11, 2003 ~ 11:13 AM I've been text messaging Noah, trying to get a response... been feeling brushed off. He finally replied today. "stop texting me" I dunno why it made me sad. So I called him and he brushed me off again and he told me stuff like "I hate text messages" which is odd cuz he never complained too much before seeing as HE sends ME texts more than I him usually. And yeah so I was sitting here crying... listening to Jimmy Eat World... And I look out the window... and I see a HUMMINGBIRD DANCING IN FRONT OF MY WINDOW. Like RIGHT IN FRONT of my window. Like it was here to see me. I remember one morning down in LA when me and Noah had pulled an all-nighter and we were walking back from Ralphs and I decided I wanted to feed pigeons cuz we'd juss bought bread. So we sat down on these concrete benches. I did my pigeon feeding but later on, there was a squirrel. We watched that a bit. It was so cute and then there were humminbirds. More than one. Just flitting about the shrubbery in front of some building. Me and Noah juss sat there and watched them. It was a very good morning. The hummingbird left eventually, of course and that made me cry harder cuz I missed it. And miss Noah. And miss beauty. And miss knowing. And so all this explanation was to tell ya why I looked at my buddy list on impulse under "Persons I love" instead of getting up and packing like my body and brain had agreed and was on it's way to doing. And there was Noah. Online. And I IMed him and at some point he sed "<3" and now I think I'm crying from relief. Or something. And Jimmy is singing "good good bye to sunshine. good good bye I'll be fine" Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .