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Noah:Boyfriend::Kat:Happy <--u noe u hated those 4rm SATs
December 04, 2002 ~ 7:49 AM
I didn't sleep last night. Noah was over. He was doing this whole thing where he wouldn't kiss me (with tongue) and wouldn't have sex with me... It was so frustrating. To have my boyfriend not open his mouth when he kisses me and not wanna have sex. Iono. I'm not going to Florida anymore. Noah was all sad and stuff earlier. So I went to see what was the matter... He didn't want me to go to Florida. He doesn't trust Jaeson I think. Figured that Jaeson just wanted to have sex with me... that he wouldn't even fly me out there or wanna see me if I'm not gonna have sex with him. We talked about going on a road trip up Route 66, something that I've wanted to do since like 6th grade. So I agreed to cancel Florida. Even though Jaeson had already gotten the plane ticket and took days off of work. Jaeson was hella hurt when I told him. That made me so sad... Jaeson proved Noah wrong here. He told me that he wants me to go to Florida even if I don't have sex with him. I was so happy to hear that. Jaeson is one of the best people I know and I really want to meet him but I was actually starting have doubts myself about his motives for flying me out there. So I decided to go anyway and just have a good time without having sex. Mhmm... Noah didn't like that when I told him. Sez he doesn't trust Jaeson. Long story short... I'm not going to Florida. I promised Noah I wouldn't so long as he doesn't want me to. I'm so in love with him... I'd do just about anything for him. He really really didn't want me to... I could tell. He actually tried to bargain sex. Lol. He said that if I didn't go to Florida that he would have sex with me right then. That made me realize just how much he didn't want me to go. Cuz he was all with the no sex thing. I don't know how he could be so sure that I'm wrong about Jaeson. I think Jaeson is one of my best friends and a great guy... I don't know what Noah thinks he is. But he thinks that I'm gonna be taken advantage of. Jaeson would never take advantage of me. He just wants me to be happy. He loves me, you know? I guess Noah just doesn't understand. It sucks that he's making these decisions and opinions about Jaeson's character and he's never even spoken to the guy before. Even though I think his not wanting me to go is an unfair and slightly irrational decision, I'm prepared to respect my boyfriend's wishes. Even though it feels like I'm being made to choose between my friend and my boyfriend which sucks. I won't do anything that Noah really really doesn't want me to... (that means no more Aderol.. darn!) I doubt he'll change his mind. I'm thinking if he could just talk to Jaeson for a little... that maybe he would like Jaeson and would want me to go? I think I'm gonna give Jaeson Noah's cell number... Maybe if they talk then Noah won't mind me going to Florida? Cuz I won't go only cuz he doesn't want me to, you know? It's okay... I don't either. I never know anything really. Aside from the fact that I got zero sleep last night and it's almost time to get up. Poor Noah has a final right now, too. I know he'll do fine... he's a bright cookie. We did have sex last night... it was wonderful. He keeps smiling while we're having sex but meh. Lol. I still say his beard bothers me. It's just weird. I really think it's cuz Emilio had the whole mustache and goatee type thing going on. That could explain my aversion towards facial hair. Or maybe I just don't like it. Lol. Anyhow it was really really great. I love him so much. He's so cute. I'm sore though. Like, everywhere. I dunno why. I think it's cuz I needed a full body massage before just cuz I'd been up so much bending over my desk and then sitting for finals. And then the sex. Now I just full on need a natural hot spring. Sheesh. Well, I'm gonna try to sleep a little before my appointment at 10. I'm gonna be getting tested for STDs and HIV again. Why do I feel like I'm always getting tested?!?! Sheesh. Yeah.. nappy time. Then doctors appt. Then psychiatrist appt at 1:30. Then taking my Chem midterm sometime today. Between that: ~Chemistry homework ~kissing my wonderful boyfriend ~filling out job applications ~socializing with Steph and/or Peter And then when I'm done with all of that, getting my pills from Longs!!! Then after that? Much needed SLEEP!!! Grrr. I saw Brant today. asked him why he blocked me... he said I was getting annoying... wut the smurf. Lol. I barely IMed him like once a week! Loser. Dick. Used me for sex. Mhmm. And I actually liked him. A lot. DICK. Yeah... Nap time...
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
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