Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry Suffocation's lost it's fun. You're fuckin' lazy. January 29, 2003 ~ 1:11 AM twinkle, twinkle little heart even as you fall apart though I meant to make you fall i may not be "it" at all crumbling, stumbling little heart my *PAST* never is too far. He can't get over *Jen*. He can't let go of her. I can't let go of that; I can't let go of him. No. Seeing his heartache over his ex who won't be his friend... No jealousy felt but raw inexplicable pain. Just yesterday my fears were chased away like shadows at sunrise. The sun sets. I can't do what he asks. I can't ask what he does. When I kiss him, he can't breath. No romantical taking his breath away... No, he feels smothered. Claustraphobic. ::shudders:: But I can't do what he wants... I can't "take a break". Especially not now when Jen is so prominent in his thoughts... his thoughts of how hard it is to let go of her. He knows that her wishes are not unfounded. He treated her like crap. She wasted two years of her life on him. She regretted all of it. She did not end up with him. She doesn't want him back, never will. Maybe not even as a friend. The person he is, now looked at objectively as opposed to lovingly/subjectively, his defects and ugliness that can no longer be ignored or seen though rose-colored glasses. He doesn't want to do it the hard way. He supposedly enjoys doing things the hard way! He said so in his diary! His "staunch philosophy of always taking the hard way." Now he wants to take a break from me so he can learn to treat people better when he meets them. Well, honey. How about doing it the hard way by treating people better as you meet them and interact with them. Love them. Getting lazy, Noah love? I was wrong. I do need to worry. ::worries:: ::worries:: ::worries:: . . . I never did get my walk. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .