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Long time no type...
July 09, 2002 ~ 6:31 PM
I haven't written in here for a while. This is because my wonderful cousin bought me a diary. Even though it is really chinky. So I've been writing in there. Catching up, I went to Santa Cruz to check out my new school. It is so pretty there. You have no idea. It's gorgeous. Well, maybe some of you do have an idea, but still. It's breath-taking. - I was so excited today. I was in a totally good mood. I finally opened my checking account. So I can write CHECKS now!!! Yay. I was so thrilled. Then me and Jen went to Coldstone Creamery and got ice-cream. SO GOOD!!! I can feel the fat building up though. I'm gonna hafta go walking/jogging later. - My little David from Bakersfield doesn't like me anymore... I haven't spoken to him for so long. And he finally talks to me again and he's telling me that he doesn't wanna meet me anymore. That totally ruined my day. I dunno why I cried. I guess I just thought that he would be there for me always. Cuz that's what he told me. Haha. I should have known better, huh? Erg. He's telling me he doesn't ever wanna meet me then goes and pretends everything is fine and asks me how my 4th of July was. Arg. Seriously, I don't know why I bother. He's a little 16 year old anyway. I can't blame him for the immaturity. It's all good. I'm used to getting hurt by people I think care about me. Ech. - My friend Jon from Wisconsin found himself a girl. He's never online anymore. So I haven't spoken to him in forever and a day. I guess I miss him. Although I know I prolly shouldn't. It doesn't do anything. I don't know. - I'm protecting myself from everyone now. Even online people. I trust online people way too much. I keep on getting hurt that way. I think my only real friends are Mellissa, Lisa, and Geo. All female. Which is new for me. - The highlight of my day was seeing Jaeson online. That boy is so beautiful. But he has a girlfriend. So it doesn't matter how much I like him. Plus he's in Florida. I should stop kidding myself, huh? It's not gonna happen. I can't stand a strictly internet relationship. I like the physical aspect of a relationship way too much... Arg. So I give up. I am in such need of someone who cares about me right now. I want someone to be there for me. And I have all this affection that I don't have anyone who wants it or will appreciate it. I almost called Felipe! I just feel so... lonely. Like abandoned. I found this cute boy on douwantme.com and we hit it of real well... but I ended up encouraging him to ask out some other girl. LOL. I'm hopeless. It is true that all the good guys are taken, isn't it? I miss being with someone. Something as simple as being in someone's arms. Just to belong somewhere, to someone. I'm gonna go before I depress myself some more. I'll prolly take a walk.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....