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More about Joe... and about a new guy.
August 02, 2002 ~ 12:49 AM
Hmmm... I'm kinda really really so screwed. Lol. I'm starting to get the idea that Joe dun want me. That means I'm sad. But not really that sad. Cuz there is some guy online making me laff right now. And plus I just spent the evening with Daniel Passarini my now best friend in the world... how can I really be sad? =P I wrote Joe a letter. Telling him to just be honest. I mean... I'm going to give him his damned jacket back no matter what. I think that might be the only reason why he's cordial to me right now. Cuz he thinks I might not give him the jacket back. I'm such a freaking idiot. Arg. He talks to me online... barely. He'll say a total of two lines, leave for 15 minutes, then come back and say he has to go. It sucks... I lost him before I even had him. Eh. I fall way too easily. I guess I'll see. I'm way smarter in the relationship department than I used to be. I won't put my heart into this unless he shows signs of commitment first. I'm so tired of getting my heart broken. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of settling for less than I really want. It's not fair and I know it and I'm not whining about it because that won't do a thing to change it. Joe could make me happy. If he wanted, I'd give him my heart, body, and soul. There is no one right now that I would even consider giving that too. He lives half an hour away but I don't think that's close enough to bring him to me... I do like him a lot... I'm just not gonna let him break my heart like so many others have before. Does he deserve me? My heart tells me yes. I have doubts now but if he just says the word, and alleviates my fears, I will be his- whole and whole. I would even go through having a long distance relationship. I would do anything for him. At least we'll be in the same state, right? But I honestly think it's time I moved on...
This guy I just met, he's the reason why I'm not all depressed about Joe... lol. He's so fine. And so funny. He's 26. (I love 26 yr olds I've always had great with them... I just like that age) But he's moving to Atlanta. (I wonder if he knows who Ludicrus is?) His name is Chad. He is making my night. He's so beautiful. And I love his sense of humor. I love a guy who can make me laugh or smile. It's just a beautiful bonus to him being gorgeous. And he's not a computer geek... YAY!!! lol. He's pretty freaking awesome. I am so liking him. See how sad this is? I get so excited when I find a guy and he's awesome. Cuz I'm so used to guys finding me! =P He was on my buddy list. I had a comment on it that sed "Ask if he really likes cheese" I was confused about that... I didn't remember putting it there... lol. But I asked. He likes cheese. He's such a great guy... I think he might be going onto the special SparklzNsuch screen name... watch out. lol. He asked me "asl" and I told him to be more creative (thanks to UHHH my tolerance of that asl thing is nil). The guy asks me if I have a penis or a vagina. lol. Oh, you know wut? I'll put our conversation up on the next entry. Ta-Ta!
Kat
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....