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GRRRR!!!
August 23, 2002 ~ 9:17 PM
Abel broke up with me. He says that he doesn't want a girlfriend. That was three days ago. I got through it pretty well. With a lot of help from Ron Bacardi. And Ricky of course, who gets me the Bacardi. I knew I shouldn't have fallen for Abel. What the hell was I thinking? How can I be so stupid? What's wrong with me? Arg. I can't even be angry with myself this time. He really did seem so perfect. And honestly, he still does.
Today was such a good day. (Despite the hangover). I got to speak to two beautiful people today. First was that beautiful boy Obrui from FTJ. I have never met a sexier person. Serious. And modest. He is in denial concerning his gorgeous-ness. He's so sweet. You don't even have any idea. Beautiful little boy... And then there was Allysha. She is one of the best people that I have ever had the honor of speaking to. She doesn't seem to understand what a beautiful and smart and unique and all around great girl she is. Her parents treat her like crap. It's so unfair. She is such a sweetheart. She has such hatred for herself. I don't know what I can do to make her see what a beautiful individual she is. She lives in Australia and she's fifteen. And she's a model. Who thinks she is hideous. It's ridiculous how low her self esteem is. She deserves so much better than that. It makes me so pissed to know that great people like Allysha have to put up with all kinds of shit. She just doesn't deserve it. I seriously want her to move to California. She reminds me of myself when I was younger but ten times worse. And she's such a sweet person. I want to take care of her. I don't even know why. She's half a world away but I want her to stop hurting. I really wish she could get the hell away from her parents. I'd help her. I seriously would. I'm getting a job anyway. And I'm gonna get an apartment once I'm sure the job is secure. I want to show her what a beautiful person she is. And show her that there are people who will love her unconditionally and won't ever raise their hands in anger. I mean, I'm not the greatest person to live with, I'm sure, but I will certainly love her as she deserves and I will treat her like a human being. (And no I'm not a lesbian. I'm very much heterosexual. I love her as a little sister or a kindred spirit.) This girl is so strong but she thinks nothing of herself. That just makes me so sad. I wanna give her a hug.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
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