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new boyfriend
October 28, 2002 ~ 1:00 AM
I went to a Halloween Party at the DOC house last night. (Delta Omega Chi) It was so awesome. They actually had hard alcohol. And the guy mixing drinks was dressed up as Eminem. He actually looked really sexy. I met like four guys who wanted me. There was this one hot guy Sven who was beautiful and really nice but I really didn't go for him at all. There was this one boy who was really nice who wasn't from UCSC. His hair was so beautiful. Very nice. His name is Ashton. He actually kissed me a few times but he was really plastered and he tasted really gross. Lol. I decided to stick with my sober guy that I kinda attached myself to. This guy named Keith from Cowell. He's so hot. And he's a real sweetie. He has nice hair, too and his eyebrow pierced. It was really sexy. He's a great kisser. I thought that I would be goig home with him that night... but I didn't. I ended up coming home with this guy named Abraham. I was sitting with Keith on a couch and we were making out. People were staring and commenting so we decided to cool it down. He bought me a Smirnoff Ice. What a sweetheart. Heh. But then I saw this guy with really nice hair. (Abe) I had to tell him that I liked his hair. I gave him my phone number and such. He was sweet but I was kinda with Keith so I didn't want to ditch him even though Abe wanted me to and such. So I sat back down with Keith and we chilled for a bit til I finished my drink. Then we went dancing. I love dancing, by the way. Especially when drunk cuz then no one cares and I don't care. It's great. After dancing with him for a while, I asked him if I could go dance with Abe a little and he told me "Yeah, go for it." So I did. Abe's a good dancer. He's so cute. And he's got this fun accent. Iono. He dances like how Joel dances. Ganster dancing. Lol. It's so hot. And I love his hair. That's when he convinced me to run off with him. So I had to let Keith down. I felt so bad cuz Keith was such a great guy. But when it came down to making a decision I got superficial and went with the guy with the nicer hair. So we come back to College Ten and we're walking down the hall to my room and I find out the guy has these gorgeous green eyes. I couldn't see earlier cuz he's hiding behind this hat and it was dark. He has such pretty eyes. Arg. So we're in my room and he goes about seducing me. Even though I told him over and over again that I wasn't going to have sex with him, he still persisted. I made a promise to myself that unless it was Andrew Catalano, I would not have sex with anyone who's not my boyfriend. I told Abe that I would not have sex with him cuz he's not my boyfriend. I swear, he couldn't take no for an answer or something. Sheesh. He was totally scaring me. It felt like Emilio all over again except I invited this guy into my room. He eventually got me naked. And then he got naked. And then he pulls out a condom. Okay. Now I was like nuh-uh. I was really scared by now. I grab the condom and told him no again and I throw the condom across the room. Okay, I'm gonna make this story shorter. We had sex. And it was hella great sex. And I never consented so technically it was date-rape. But I guess it's okay cuz it really was great sex. And he did agree to be my boyfriend after. So now I have a boyfriend. Go figure, huh. A total stranger. I just don't understand how the heck that happened, you know? What was I thinking? I didn't want to be a one-night stand again. But then, is that any better? If he just uses me for sex? Like Adam Geller, right? Abe seems like a mixture of Emilio and Adam. The worst of both worlds. Damn. I don't know. It was nice to be with someone though. I have such a need for affection. It's totally pathetic and I hate myself for it. I just need to feel like someone is there for me. Even if they really aren't emotionally, at least they are physically right? It just occured to me that I may possibly never even hear from him again. He seems like such a player. Like he's so damned smooth. With his yummy accent and those eyes and that hair and just his whole persona. It's just so sexy. Very alluring. It sucks. He's made for seduction. The eerie thing is, he kind of looks like Nicholas Cage, who is really gross. But I find Abe attractive. Such a smooth operator. Darn him. I really don't know much about him. He lives in Berkeley. He's 18. He sells/smokes weed. He goes to a junior college. He has a puppy (pit bull). And he likes to keep a low profile. Grr. I don't even know if I want him to call me or not. I don't know if he will... Hmm... I guess we'll see soon enough, right?
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