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"Beat the fuck out of those demons." -NJD
February 22, 2003 ~ 4:29 AM
I am to sleep alone tonight. Because Noah needs to get up early and study his ass off... It was so hard to let him go... to not beg him to please sleep with me. But you know what? I'll be fine. Just stay up til I can't take it anymore and pass out. I won't even dream. Noah's right. That's what I used to do when I slept alone. Part of what fucked me up first quarter... lol. Sleeping through classes cuz I slept at like 7 or 8 in the morning. Werd... I love him so much. He loves me so much. I'll be fine. His love makes me strong. {Ew, it sounds like I'm talking about god... lol} Noah's loving me gives me strength. Cuz even if he's hurting me, it doesn't matter. He doesn't mean to hurt me. He loves me. It shouldn't even matter. He's just doing what he needs to do and needing what he wants to need. And I should respect that. I love him with all my heart and soul and I trust him to love me even if I don't see him for hours upon hours. "Letting him sleep alone tonight..." "Making me sleep alone tonight..." It shouldn't be like that. It should just be "We're sleeping alone tonight." Noah's right. I can bash the tapoozie out of my demons because I have Noah's love {and my developing love for myself} to fight them... and love conquers all in my book... {Forever shall I be the hopeless romantic of yore...} and I AM writing this book of my life! Not my parents! ME! {Maybve using Noah Dekkers as a reference though... lol} I can do it. But first, you know what I'm gonna do? Right! I'm gonna go pee. Then you know what I'm gonna do?!?! Yes! I'm gonna brush my teeth! And then? Correct! I'm gonna visit stoner Chris downstairs since he's still up. Oh yeah, and then I'm gonna tackle my demons. Lol. {OMG! I just realized how I was supposed to do that math problem that I was so confused about!!! Duh. When they gave me (3.9)3 to apply linear approximation to, they expected me to use (X)3 as the function and then have a=3.8 and x=3.9! See for the other problems they wrote out f(x)=???; a=?; x=? so when I got a problem that just sed (3.9)3 I was like wtf?!?! Lol. I get it now!! Hehehe! Okay I'll shut up about the calculus now...} At least I have Noah's pillow on my bed still.. the scent of him will be very comforting. =] Wish me luck!
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....