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"You're such a google-muffin!" - NJD
February 23, 2003 ~ 3:42 AM
That I am. And so what? I'm so in love. I can't help but be a google-muffin as Noah calls it... sorta endearing... I'm sleeping alone again.. It won't be that bad. I know it won't. It wasn't too bad last night. A disturbing dream and a really really freaky-weird one that was scary but it all went buh bye in the light of day. I went to bed about 7 something I think... and woke up at about noon 30. Not too bad. I took a nap on Noah's bed a little later. I'm so in love with him. I'm so proud of him for working so hard and studying to pass this midterm. And I'm so grateful that he hasn't been outwardly blaming everything on me even though it's all my fault. I've already condemned myself but Noah John Dekkers is yet to condemn me. I do not go a single day without thanking my lucky stars for this wonderful boyfriend that I've found. I think I just tried too hard to be loved cuz I needed it so much. And now this love from one boy is now the world to me. I could not ask for more. I know Noah loves his feather pillow... it's his favorite pillow... and he leaves it on my bed... even when he sleeps alone. That little token, which may simply be a bit of forgetfulness on his part, means oh-so-much to me. It sorta symbolizes the fact that he will be coming back and sleeping with me someday. And knowing that he loves this pillow and sleeping with it and smelling his scent on it eases some of my fears and paranoias and trepidations. It helps me sleep better knowing that Noah loves this pillow and he's gonna be sleeping alone yet it's still on my bed... I hope he doesn't take it back... I'm letting him sleep alone for the next five nights. FIVE NIGHTS! That's insane. Before, I would have found myself some random lucky guy to be my bedmate after just having to sleep one or two nights alone. Five... eesh. I could only hope that my demons will not get the best of me by the end of this week... I cannot miss any more classes. It just will NOT do. I just can't. I'm already freaked out about the lectures that I missed on Friday. I need to find Derek tomorrow to get his notes... Or Randi will have the Chem notes, she takes good notes... Abdullah and Eddie are both in my calc class also and they are much closer but I've sat with Eddie and I know he doesn't take good notes... and Abdullah... I won't even try. I hafta find Derek!!! He hasn't been online... maybe I should have gotten his phone number. Oh. I'm stupid. I do have his phone number!! Lol. It's on that print-out that I got in ACE. Woohoo! Gotta do that tomorrow! Get notes get notes. Read Chapter 11 again cuz when I skimmed through it to see what I missed in lecture I was like... um... huh? Lol. It was horrible. Matter of fact, since I'm not gonna sleep anyway, I'm gonna go look at Gene's lecture notes online. And then figure out what classes I'm gonna enroll in for next quarter!! Eeep!
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....