Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry
Ramblageage....
March 13, 2003 ~ 6:19 AM
Argness. Suckiness of the insomnia. I did the thing where I slept the day away again. Dammit. I need to reschedule my pychologist and my psychiatrist appts. Missed both. Hiding in my room all day being depressed. Kitty is wetawded. I just don't understand the point of everything. Life is so sucky sometimes, I mean, why am I alive. Everyone is born to die. So what the hell is the point of experiencing all the pain and love and dissappointment and elation? We already know by now that Noah is not the answer. I came up here at about 4 or 5 I think. And I've been playing Kings of Chaos up until like now. I attack people. Steal their money. Lose some people. Lose some money. Is it fun? Eh. Not really. I'd rather have been reading my Chemistry book. I had planned on doing that, but came up and though about K of C and started playing. I've never attacked anyone before. Then I checked my attack log and found that many many people have attacked me. So much for being a pacifist in the war game. Kathriel {that's my by the way. Thanks fer the cool name, Pooter} went on a killing spree and attacked w/o mercy, losing some of her own men even. I need to enter a LucidDream. Just die and live this awesome life and do anything I want... Even SWIM!! I had a dream that I swam to Noah who was in a boat. And we sailed of into the sunset. I used to have tons of dreams about being able to swim. I remember one of them clearly. That a huge dog {my mother is a dog in the Chinese zodiac so many times in my dreams I am being attacked/chased/hunted/intimidated by a canine} was chasing after me. We were at my grandfather's boss' house. {His boss is the guy who owns the Sweet N Low company... talk about someone who is too rich for his own good... I've been to all 5 of his houses/condos in California. He's got more homes other places. Eesh. And I won't even start with the amount of vehicles he owns... and his wife, they each have their own collections... it's disgusting. One of his wife's Ferraris could pay for my college education.} I was chased towards their pool and the dog was gaining on me. I had no choice but to jump. And I just dove in a swam. It was wonderful. Just swam across the whole pool to the little nook on the other side. I have a headache. I'm gonna read my Chemistry now. I don't even know why I'm awake. I've been exhausted since my hike up to the Taqueria. There is not much that I wouldn't do to lie in bed with Noah and feel his arms around me right now. But alas, my little Aderol addict is studying {prolly napping} in the 0 floor lounge. I have some good memories with him in that lounge. I know I'll never ever forget it, so there is no point in detailing it here. This diary is, after all, for yours truly. Oh I wrote something when I was down there with him earlier. I think I'm gonna type that up right now. Then try to read. If I fall asleep while reading then so be it.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....