Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry deep down inside April 17, 2003 ~ 11:33 AM I still wish that I'll see him around. That he'll see me and see how well I'm doing despite all the pain and longing and tumult of stormy love. And he'll fall in love with me again! And he'll ask me out again. And I'll once again be completly complete. I'll once again have my better half. And we'll be so happy together. HE needs to remember all the times when I did have Prozac. All the times will be like those times now. He told me once that he knows that I could live a normal, healthy life if I just kept at 40 mg of Prozac a day. So he knew. Maybe he forgot? I don't understand why he won't give me another chance cuz now that everything is all good, he should. I'm getting my insurance and Imma get my Prozac all the time. Noah told me he wouldn't abandon me, that he wouldn't give up on me, but he left me at the time when I needed him the most. You know how I used to seem not okay but I told everyone I was okay? It's just the opposite now. I seem okay but I won't ever really be okay again; not until I have my heart, my Noah back. I knew all my life that I couldn't live without true love. Which was why I tried so hard in seeking it while wanting to die each day no matter if I was happy or sad. I finally started to believe in life, finally was gong to start really living. Yeah. I need to go work out. Well, it's my acting class but it's just the same as working out. I get to talk to my fishies a bit, too. Yay. I just decided right now that I would change clothes today. Out of my SF shirt and those pants that Noah wore. My dad had brought me some new clothes. I'm gonna wear those. Maybe it will make me feel new again instead of hurt and jaded. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .