Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry blood on my arm April 24, 2004 ~ 12:07 AM I did a good job of avoiding my mother today. I wanted to avoid getting upset and cutting. One more run-in with my mother would have sent me over the edge. I would have killed myself. So whenever my mother was somewhere, I made sure I wasn't. And I was fine. I was great. Til right now. Talking to Matt. To think... I could have gotten through the whole day without cutting!!! But no. Iono... Matt is upset about Noah. But I'm never gonna get back together with Noah. I wanna be with Matt. I wanna marry Matt. I don't understand why he won't let me be friends with Noah. So here was Matt making me feel like shit... And I asked him to stop talking about it. To talk about something else that'll cheer me up. I ask him PLEASE. And he talks about football. You must understand I was already very upset at this time. And I told him that what he said doesn't cheer me up. So he acknowledges my comment and KEEPS GOING ON ABOUT FOOTBALL. I'm okay now, though. Went downstairs. Cut my arm some more. Now there's blood inside my sweater sleeve. Ew. And my arm is all sticky. Ewer. They'll close up by tomorrow noonish I think. Not as deep as last night. Not bleeding even half as much. But still. Matt can be such a jerk sometimes. Mer. I'm not gonna even think about this anymore. It's just gonna make me wanna wail on my arm s'more. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .