Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry new look May 02, 2003 ~ 5:26 AM i decided that my diary was way too happy. rainbows, stars, sparkles, etc. for some weird reason those things seem stupid and pointless. i made my diary way more boring but it's just normal now. i learned all that html for nothing. that used to make me so happy just knowing that all my html skills, no matter how limited they are, were self taught. i just figured it all out on my own. thanks to "View Source" under the right-click. and i was so looking forward to reading that book that noah got me... so much info! so much more i can learn! but... yeah... i don't really care anymore. i don't really care about learning about anything anymore... i used to be so interested in everything... had such a passion for learning... loved to learn. i don't love anything anymore... the desire is gone. i just feel like there isn't any point. so pointless... i hope to make the best of my remaining time here on earth but i still go to school and go to meetings and see my psychologist, etc. i wish to die sooner than ______ ________ but i doubt that will happen. barely two months. i can wait. i just wish i could see him again. i wish i could do something big. i wish i could do route 66 or pet a koala in australia. i wish i could feel alive again. i wish i had my heart back. i wish noah gave a shit. i wish someone will remember me and go hey, she was an okay person, she tried, she was loving. i wish they'll put "Kaitlyn" instead of "tammy". i wish i had never met noah dekkers. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .