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Madman knows that me and Matt are right. Why doesn't Matt?
May 07, 2004 ~ 9:14 PM
omFgnoahsUCKs: what did matt say yesterday?
omFgnoahsUCKs: oh and do you wanna keep reading my diary? cuz i locked it. you'll need the password
theMADDESTofMEN: that's ok
theMADDESTofMEN: he's really pissed that you went behind his back
omFgnoahsUCKs: and did what?
omFgnoahsUCKs: ???
theMADDESTofMEN: Iunno
omFgnoahsUCKs: i didn't do anything behind his back
theMADDESTofMEN: Well
theMADDESTofMEN: I'm not the one you have to convince
omFgnoahsUCKs: well i didn't
omFgnoahsUCKs: i wanan know what he THINKS i did behind his back
omFgnoahsUCKs: duh
theMADDESTofMEN: ok
omFgnoahsUCKs: cuz if i did something behind his back, i think i would know. and i don't. so yeah.. enlighten me
theMADDESTofMEN: he thinks just seeing him betrays him
omFgnoahsUCKs: Noah?
omFgnoahsUCKs: I've seen him once since I've been down here
omFgnoahsUCKs: And I was gonna tell Matt that NIGHT. I just didn't wanan tell him in the morning cuz I din't want him to have a bad day, etc
omFgnoahsUCKs: I had called him in the morning and told him I was going to a film festival.
omFgnoahsUCKs: I juss didn't tell him who with.
omFgnoahsUCKs: He didn't ask. And I dind't wanna start his day off shitty
omFgnoahsUCKs: I was gonna tell him that night after I got home
omFgnoahsUCKs: but I told him exactly what I was doing
omFgnoahsUCKs: I was at a film festival
omFgnoahsUCKs: it's called Coachella
omFgnoahsUCKs: radiohead was playing
omFgnoahsUCKs: I've been wanting to see them forever
omFgnoahsUCKs: that's the only reason why I went. I coulda cared less about seeing Noah. But it was free Radiohead ticket. Heh.
omFgnoahsUCKs: I promised Matt I would never leave him for Noah again. I meant it
omFgnoahsUCKs: he has nothing to worry abou
omFgnoahsUCKs: t
omFgnoahsUCKs: Noah was just a friend.
omFgnoahsUCKs: I had no romantic feelings about him
theMADDESTofMEN: well, I can't explain it
theMADDESTofMEN: but he hates that
theMADDESTofMEN: and him
omFgnoahsUCKs: I know he hates Noah
omFgnoahsUCKs: but I don't know WHY
omFgnoahsUCKs: because I didn't feel ANYTHING for Noah
omFgnoahsUCKs: you can ask NOAH
omFgnoahsUCKs: lol
omFgnoahsUCKs: when matt freaked out on me and broke up with me that day of the festival... i couldn't stop crying
omFgnoahsUCKs: and noah could not get why
omFgnoahsUCKs: and it hurt him
omFgnoahsUCKs: cuz he was seeing how much i love matt
omFgnoahsUCKs: that was pretty shitty for noah
omFgnoahsUCKs: serious. the whole day, if we weren't talking about radiohead, i was telling Noah about how much i LOVE MATT
omFgnoahsUCKs: really very innocent. I gave him a hug at one point. and he tried to seduce me and failed miserably at one point
omFgnoahsUCKs: but Matt knows all this
omFgnoahsUCKs: I don't lie to hi
omFgnoahsUCKs: m
omFgnoahsUCKs: I never will
omFgnoahsUCKs: Even if it kills me
omFgnoahsUCKs: Which my mother was yelling at me about tonight
theMADDESTofMEN: he feels that you don't lie
omFgnoahsUCKs: She tells me that I've brought this onto myself... because I should have just lied to Matt
theMADDESTofMEN: but you never tell the whole story
omFgnoahsUCKs: about seeing Noah
theMADDESTofMEN: ^exact words
theMADDESTofMEN: Well, maybe you should of
theMADDESTofMEN: you can't say you didn't know how he'd react
omFgnoahsUCKs: I KNOW
omFgnoahsUCKs: but my mantra is "Honesty is the best policy"
omFgnoahsUCKs: to which my mother said
omFgnoahsUCKs: unless yer gonna get yer heart broken
theMADDESTofMEN: Well, shit, I'm sorry
omFgnoahsUCKs: but I don't fucking care. there is not a single person in the world who will convince me to lie to Matt EVER
omFgnoahsUCKs: lol
omFgnoahsUCKs: I have a tendency to not lie to ppl I love
omFgnoahsUCKs: and I love Matt more than anything in the world
omFgnoahsUCKs: I would never lie to him
omFgnoahsUCKs: and that will be my downfall
omFgnoahsUCKs: because now I regret it
omFgnoahsUCKs: a lot
omFgnoahsUCKs: i should have just lied, huh?
theMADDESTofMEN: Only because he hates NOah
omFgnoahsUCKs: I know he does
omFgnoahsUCKs: but i love and respect matt enough to NOT WANNA LIE TO HIM
theMADDESTofMEN: he's emotionally unstable
theMADDESTofMEN: he doesn't know what he's gonna do
theMADDESTofMEN: his life as he knows it is coming to an end
theMADDESTofMEN: and he's scared
omFgnoahsUCKs: no it's not
omFgnoahsUCKs: it doesn't have to
omFgnoahsUCKs: dammit
theMADDESTofMEN: and you're a victim
omFgnoahsUCKs: i'm still HERE
omFgnoahsUCKs: and i love him more than anything in the whole fucking world
omFgnoahsUCKs: why can't he see that?
theMADDESTofMEN: Well, he doesn't know what the future holds
theMADDESTofMEN: he's scared
omFgnoahsUCKs: Noah doesn't mean jack shit to me
omFgnoahsUCKs: Me
omFgnoahsUCKs: ME!!!
omFgnoahsUCKs: the future
omFgnoahsUCKs: I WANT TO BE HIS FUTURE
theMADDESTofMEN: Of course
theMADDESTofMEN: but what else
omFgnoahsUCKs: i can't just pretend that I didn't plan on spending the rest of my life with him as his wife, u know?
theMADDESTofMEN: school?
theMADDESTofMEN: Work?
theMADDESTofMEN: living?
omFgnoahsUCKs: we were gonna go to school here
omFgnoahsUCKs: both work parttime
omFgnoahsUCKs: or i'll work full time first
theMADDESTofMEN: friends?
omFgnoahsUCKs: and continue later
omFgnoahsUCKs: he can make friends
omFgnoahsUCKs: he's a doll
omFgnoahsUCKs: everybody would love him
theMADDESTofMEN: not true
omFgnoahsUCKs: he should stop being insecure about that
theMADDESTofMEN: he doesn't want to move on
theMADDESTofMEN: he's seen how bad I've done out here
theMADDESTofMEN: and how much I hated moving
omFgnoahsUCKs: but you didn't move in witht eh love of your life
omFgnoahsUCKs: *supposed love of yer life
theMADDESTofMEN: ummm
omFgnoahsUCKs: cuz he claims he doesn't feel anything anymore
theMADDESTofMEN: yeah I did
omFgnoahsUCKs: which has caused me great pain
omFgnoahsUCKs: wait. who did you move in with?
theMADDESTofMEN: wait
theMADDESTofMEN: misinterpreted question
omFgnoahsUCKs: he's gonna be moving in with ME
omFgnoahsUCKs: you know?
omFgnoahsUCKs: he'll love it over here
omFgnoahsUCKs: no hippies
omFgnoahsUCKs: all republicans
omFgnoahsUCKs: no vegetarian restaurants for miles
omFgnoahsUCKs: nothing i could logically drag him to anyway
omFgnoahsUCKs: and movies here cost $3.00
omFgnoahsUCKs: lol
theMADDESTofMEN: well, I'm sorry
omFgnoahsUCKs: and the rent is cheaper
theMADDESTofMEN: really?
omFgnoahsUCKs: food is even cheaper
theMADDESTofMEN: 3 bucks?
omFgnoahsUCKs: yeah
omFgnoahsUCKs: yeah
omFgnoahsUCKs: u can ask matt
omFgnoahsUCKs: we've gone there a few times
omFgnoahsUCKs: matinee
omFgnoahsUCKs: night movies are like... 6
theMADDESTofMEN: ours are 4 for Matinee's
theMADDESTofMEN: and 7 for late
omFgnoahsUCKs: utilities are cheaper cuz there are more ppl here. everything is cheaper cuz there are more ppl to buy things, they charge less for things
omFgnoahsUCKs: everything is cheaper
omFgnoahsUCKs: and the jobs pay BETTER
omFgnoahsUCKs: ironically
omFgnoahsUCKs: it's to support the trndy mall-whore LA image down here, though
theMADDESTofMEN: but jobs are harder to get probably
omFgnoahsUCKs: but we won't use our money on that
omFgnoahsUCKs: no way
omFgnoahsUCKs: everyone is always hiring
theMADDESTofMEN: well
omFgnoahsUCKs: almost always
theMADDESTofMEN: I unno what to say
omFgnoahsUCKs: if you go to a mall
omFgnoahsUCKs: more than a dozen will be hiring
omFgnoahsUCKs: any random mall
theMADDESTofMEN: heh
omFgnoahsUCKs: they need more ppl
omFgnoahsUCKs: cuz the malls are bigger
theMADDESTofMEN: you don't need to convince m
omFgnoahsUCKs: andt ehre are more customers
theMADDESTofMEN: me*
omFgnoahsUCKs: ugh
theMADDESTofMEN: you need to convince Matt
omFgnoahsUCKs: well he doesn't listen to me
theMADDESTofMEN: I tried for a good hour
omFgnoahsUCKs: lol
theMADDESTofMEN: and he didn't listen to me or Danielle
omFgnoahsUCKs: thank you so much, sweetie
omFgnoahsUCKs: who's danielle?
theMADDESTofMEN: it's ok
omFgnoahsUCKs: u have no idea how much i'm hurting
omFgnoahsUCKs: i haven't EATEN anything since
omFgnoahsUCKs: i was finally able to keep down water today
omFgnoahsUCKs: but barely
omFgnoahsUCKs: if i drink too much i throw up the water
omFgnoahsUCKs: how pathetic huh
omFgnoahsUCKs: ugh
theMADDESTofMEN: yeah
omFgnoahsUCKs: madman... i dunno what to do... i can't even eat CHOCOLATE
omFgnoahsUCKs: =(
omFgnoahsUCKs: all girls need chocolate when they're sad
theMADDESTofMEN: I g2g
theMADDESTofMEN: sorry
omFgnoahsUCKs: I just need him to come down here on the 15th. I won't cancel the ticket cuz I have faith that he'll come down
omFgnoahsUCKs: and that he'll realize he loves me when i'm in his arms again
omFgnoahsUCKs: g'nite
theMADDESTofMEN: bye
omFgnoahsUCKs: thanks for... shtuff
omFgnoahsUCKs: <3
omFgnoahsUCKs: *sigh*
theMADDESTofMEN signed off at 9:13:11 PM.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
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