Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry Oh-so pathetically desperate flower yo-yo contraption... May 10, 2004 ~ 5:04 PM So Matt sez he doesn't love me again. And that he doesn't wanna come down. Is there a sign on me that sez that I'm a fuckin yo-yo? Cuz like... NOAH DID THIS TO ME. Fuckin yo-yo. UGH. Cept, Matt is hurting me more than Noah ever did. He promised me he would love me forever and ever. He promised me he'd never leave me. And he told me that he wouldn't break anymore promises. And I believed him. I think I still do... That's why I'll be at Ontario Airport at 4 this saturday. Rain or shine. Whether he says he's coming or not. Cuz I'm in love with him and I have faith in his love for me. I tried jumpin off of a freeway overpass. He stopped me. That's the night he promised that he'll make me happy. That he'll try. That he'll love me forever and ever. That's the night he told me he'd stop breaking promises. When he asked me to marry him... I didn't think it was for real... but I told him yes. There is no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I'll die before I spend the rest of my life by myself. Matt's it. He has to love me. Cuz if he doesn't, I'm gone. I already regret him convincing me not to jump. I already regret stopping the blood. When he comes down it'll make it all worthwhile. I'll be able to take the pain with a spoonful of sugar. Cuz he'll realize how much he loves me. And that we're meant to be together. He said he wants this to work. Well I want it to, also. I just seem to be trying harder than he is. But then right now I love him more than he loves me. I just need him to come down. I need him to realize he loves me. He needs to realize that if he keeps tearin petals off me, I'll be dead by the time he finds out if "he loves me" or if "he loves me not". Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .