Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry OMG Kat, this is SO your song!! Listen to it!!! - Jen May 16, 2004 ~ 12:10 AM Jen introduced me to a song today. She said it fits me perfectly and how much I love Matt... Even JEN knows how much I love that kid. Heh. And she doesn't even want me to be with him. It really made me wanna cry. EVERYONE knows that me and Matt should be together. Why doesn't MATT?!?! I mean I called his friend Richard Lopez today... out of no where really... I dunno why... And he's like "You and Matt broke up?!?! But you two were perfect!" I was like... "I KNOW!!!" and started bawling like I do sometimes... Ugh. I'm so pathetic. God damn I love that boy. If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all? I never know what the future brings We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life? I don't know why you're so far away But I know that this much is true We'll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with And I wish that you could be the one I die with And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with I hope I love you all my life I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right And though I can't be with you tonight You know my heart is by your side I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? I dunno who sings/wrote it but OMG... yeah... And on another note, my friend Aaron made me smile today. He asked for my number... I'm gonna have to run that by Matt... Someone said this to me the other night-"Kat, you're not even his girlfriend and yer still his bitch..." Lol. Which is... well... true... but how am I gonna hope to ever get him back if I don't do what made him happy when we were together? Mer? Exactly. Didn't think so. Lol. So I doubt I'll be able to give Aaron my phone number... And I dunno if I can call him... But Matt might not care anymore. Anywho I hope Aaron doesn't mind my quoting his email a little. It made me laff and that's a rarity nowadays for me. I'm always just missin Matt. And loving him. And sad... Grrr... I'm sorry to hear about you and Matt. You seemed really happy. No news on the dating front here. All the girls just want to be my friend, even the strippers: "Oh no, just put that money away and tell me another story..." And then I got emails from Matty Umstead... that surfer dude that I liked so very much when I was up at UCSC. Before Noah. That was a good experience for me. That kid was everything I'd love for me to be. Just beautiful and sexy and perfect and charismatic and flirty and charming and... ugh... so fucking T-dog it almost made me sick. But you can't help LOVING him. Cuz he was too damned friendly and always had such a big smile on his face. Stupid wonderful sponsered surfers. Lol. I am SO glad me and him never actually dated. I woulda never met Noah. Which triggered a chain of events that led to meeting MATT. And we all know I can't live without Matt! Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .