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I love Matt.... so so so so so so much....
May 20, 2004 ~ 7:35 PM
I don't know why... but I feel very empty inside... I don't understand why. Matt loves me again right? I'm with Matt and I should be happy. But I feel like I'm missing something. Matt hasn't told me loves me again after he left yesterday though. I dunno... So as far as I know, he might not love me anymore. I'm so fucking scared. I'm gonna call him right now but I don't know if I really want to. I'm just so bereft. My whole world should be perfect right now but I feel like I'm missing something and I'm so scared that Matt doesn't love me again. All the promises he made... and all of the ones he's broken... I dunno... I just wish that I could be near him. Makes me wanna just pack up and move up there right NOW. I need to be near him. I wanna be SURE. I love him so fucking much and I'm just scared again. More scared now that I have him back... Lol. I'm gonna marry him someday and then I'll have peace of mind... until then... I'm just gonna... fear. I wish I could ditch this empty feeling... It's not Matt related... it's something else. Matt... *sigh* Imma call Matt right now. And hope he loves me. *cross fingers*
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....