Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry yesterdays tears June 01, 2003 ~ 9:50 PM Hiking was really fun yesterday. Pogonip is beautiful. Absolutely amazing. There were koi and goldfishies. We went to the Boardwalk after to ride a roller coaster. Lol. The Giant Dipper. That was fun. Nigel left. We {me, Teresa, Auriel} went to the beach. And chilled. Went to Longs and got my pictures... Pictures from camping with Noah... I cried on the bus ride home. I miss him so much... I love him. Irrational, I know... I haven't seen him in a month and 22 days. I'm hopeless. I'm just gonna be in love with the boy until the day I die. It's so unfair for people like Isaac or Nigel who prolly really really care about me... Really sucks for Brian and all those guys who want to win my heart and sweep me off my feet. I no longer have my heart to give as a prize and pain keeps my feet planted firmly on the ground. I feel so silly when I cry for Noah still. It's so fucking pathetic of me... you know? I mean, the guy is obviously over me already... Shouldn't I be moving on by now? He's got my heart... God dammit. I don't want to give up on him. I don't want to give up on love. Me and Noah had so much love. "Noah's Love + Kat's Love = Alotta Love". I can't fall out of love with him because I won't let myself. I'm letting Noah ruin my life. Love is ruining my life. Linda's too. And it's confuzzling Teresa. She got her first kiss from Auriel... and now she's gonna go home. It's saddening. How many times did I get my heart broken before I finally realized that there's no such thing as love? How many times did life fuck me in the ass before I finally realized that hope is only a pretty illusion? So fucked up... I never learned my lesson. I always tried again. Fucking got date raped, swore off younger guys, and ended up falling in love with Noah. Older guys... maybe that's the only way? Maybe there is no way? Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .