Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry he apologized! omg... June 17, 2004 ~ 11:55 PM Matt messaged me today and called me psycho. Well... here: +18313597901: Psycho FckStartMyHeart: you are SUCH a fucker. grow up already +18313597901: where are you??? you need to stop getting angry at me.. FckStartMyHeart: i'm at home. u need to stop being a fucker. and i'll stop being angry at you. and love you to death like i wanna. u jus keep pissing me the fuck off with all your DRAMA I was so pissed. And then I felt bad. For being pissed at him. Cuz god damn I love him so much. He's just confused right now I think. I know he loves me... *sigh* It just hurts, you kno? I know he does it on purpose to hurt me. But really the fact of the matter is I've already got this bleeding gash on my back and he's like... pokin at it or sumfin. The pain... doesn't get any WORSE than what it is. Poking is just annoying and it angers me. He talked to me on the phone... I was right about last night he was just pissed cuz I was hangning out with "his" friends. But yeah... I dunno about Cam but K Stan is my friend. Iono. It'll depend on them Not like I'm gonna just go look for them to hang out with. But if they wanna hang out with me I'm not gonan tell them to fuck off cuz hey, they're nice to me I'm not gonna be a jerk to them. I don't want to let Matt fuck shit up for me this time around. I'm gonna surround myself with any friends who'll be my friend. I don't care if Matt knew/met them first. My favorite friend right now is a girl I have never met before i my LIFE. And then there's Madman... Matt knew him first, too. Who cares. Friends are friends. They are their own ppl too if they wanna be friends with me then okay. If not, that's okay, too. Well after being a total jerk... Hanging up on me a few times, etc etc. Tonight he IMs me... and... he apologizes... I mean.. OMG. On his own, too... He jus... God I love him so much. I know he loves me. I'm so fucking scared about this whole Costa Rica thing. It's fucking bullshit I know I'm just being stupid and paranoid but me and Matt and Madman all had the same fuckin dream. THAT IS CREEPY. Well here's me and Matt talkin... this is just for me actually... I wish I still had gold. Ugh. But I don't. So fuck. MattGenuineDraft: donde? Auto response from FckStartMyHeart: don't u know? this loveless lie is driving me insane. and everyday my heart breaks more from hopelessness and pain. why do u insist upon playing this wicked game? no matter how much you hurt me i'll love you just the same... <3 FckStartMyHeart: not with k stan or cam! FckStartMyHeart: =) MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: good MattGenuineDraft: it provoked alotta anger FckStartMyHeart: i am such a dork, matt FckStartMyHeart: i was at safeway MattGenuineDraft: yea MattGenuineDraft: the kandy FckStartMyHeart: and i saw reeses FckStartMyHeart: yeah MattGenuineDraft: lol, good times FckStartMyHeart: lol FckStartMyHeart: i was like FckStartMyHeart: mattwould like one FckStartMyHeart: and i got it FckStartMyHeart: and i'm like... FckStartMyHeart: damn MattGenuineDraft: yea, i would FckStartMyHeart: LOL FckStartMyHeart: .. MattGenuineDraft: heh, hey, um... you wanna meet up before i go? MattGenuineDraft: cuz yea FckStartMyHeart: matt i'd love to MattGenuineDraft: 3 weeks MattGenuineDraft: tomorrow MattGenuineDraft: ? FckStartMyHeart: yeah FckStartMyHeart: u wanan come get me? FckStartMyHeart: or u want me to go get my car FckStartMyHeart: from wherever it is MattGenuineDraft: like around 7 30 FckStartMyHeart: i don't remember wut i did with it FckStartMyHeart: lol MattGenuineDraft: lol, what.. where is your car??? MattGenuineDraft: OMG, are you serious FckStartMyHeart: i have NO fucking clue FckStartMyHeart: it's... FckStartMyHeart: somewhere FckStartMyHeart: on the streets FckStartMyHeart: being a bad ass? MattGenuineDraft: kat, you are gonna get it towed MattGenuineDraft: why do you do stuff like that.. seriously MattGenuineDraft: go get it now... FckStartMyHeart: i know i jus don't really wanna walk around to look for it.... i think it's still at sonya's hotel FckStartMyHeart: i'm not sure FckStartMyHeart: i went to visit her and then cam came and got me so we left MattGenuineDraft: well, kat.. ask for a ride FckStartMyHeart: u wanna see me tomorrow morning? MattGenuineDraft: or go walk and get it FckStartMyHeart: k MattGenuineDraft: yea, i do, its been killin me all day....i feel bad for sayin it MattGenuineDraft: jus yea... iono why i do it FckStartMyHeart: *sigh* iono either, babydollie MattGenuineDraft: plus now im scared, cuz you and madman and me have had the dream FckStartMyHeart: wait FckStartMyHeart: who told u i had it too? MattGenuineDraft: so, im kinda spooked MattGenuineDraft: madman MattGenuineDraft: he called me FckStartMyHeart: dammit madman FckStartMyHeart: *growl* FckStartMyHeart: sweetie... i'm just scared u kno? FckStartMyHeart: i'm VERY scared MattGenuineDraft: its not gonna be by some fuckn arab FckStartMyHeart: and i really don't want u to b on the plane MattGenuineDraft: cuz i will rip his fuckn head off MattGenuineDraft: yea.. but meh MattGenuineDraft: if i die MattGenuineDraft: i guess its fate FckStartMyHeart: =/ MattGenuineDraft: iono MattGenuineDraft: but, that is another reason i wanna see you FckStartMyHeart: please don't say shit like that matt MattGenuineDraft: cuz yea.. i dont wanna leave you on bad terms FckStartMyHeart: that dream scared the SHIT outta me FckStartMyHeart: please please FckStartMyHeart: be positive FckStartMyHeart: u guys'll be fine FckStartMyHeart: u have to FckStartMyHeart: i can't lose you MattGenuineDraft: and i want you to know that you were right, and i think you can be a bit crzy at times MattGenuineDraft: not psycho FckStartMyHeart: <3 FckStartMyHeart: i just FckStartMyHeart: u kno FckStartMyHeart: insecurities MattGenuineDraft: yep FckStartMyHeart: i tried dealing with it, u kno? FckStartMyHeart: i really really tried MattGenuineDraft: k FckStartMyHeart: it just... depression makes it worse MattGenuineDraft: well, you should go and get your car FckStartMyHeart: are we gonna meet tomorrow? MattGenuineDraft: yea FckStartMyHeart: when/where? MattGenuineDraft: um MattGenuineDraft: hm MattGenuineDraft: lets see, wehre is a good place MattGenuineDraft: lets meet around 7 30 MattGenuineDraft: or 8 FckStartMyHeart: morning? FckStartMyHeart: k MattGenuineDraft: cuz i gotta be to trevs at nine FckStartMyHeart: okay FckStartMyHeart: matt i'm scared FckStartMyHeart: i don't want u to leave me MattGenuineDraft: kat FckStartMyHeart: that dream really really scared me, matt MattGenuineDraft: if you are gonna try to keep me there FckStartMyHeart: u have NO fucking idea MattGenuineDraft: im not gonna see you MattGenuineDraft: do you get that? FckStartMyHeart: and when madman told me he had the same dream FckStartMyHeart: i FREAKED MattGenuineDraft: i know, im scared too FckStartMyHeart: i didn't tell him tho MattGenuineDraft: but madman thinks its his plane FckStartMyHeart: i told him today cuz he yelled at me for not telling him about YOUR dream FckStartMyHeart: but i was just so freaked already FckStartMyHeart: i didn't wanna freak everyone else out FckStartMyHeart: =P MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: i wanna ask rough if he has the dream MattGenuineDraft: cuz if he does MattGenuineDraft: shit MattGenuineDraft: im not gonna go FckStartMyHeart: geepers matt. i am so scared. MattGenuineDraft: hey MattGenuineDraft: help me start a web site FckStartMyHeart: okay MattGenuineDraft: so i can give stuff to ppl MattGenuineDraft: like a will FckStartMyHeart: .... MattGenuineDraft: ya know, jus incase FckStartMyHeart: right now? MattGenuineDraft: yea FckStartMyHeart: we'd need to catalogue all yer shit tho FckStartMyHeart: matt FckStartMyHeart: don't FckStartMyHeart: PLEASE MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: don't talk about this MattGenuineDraft: sry FckStartMyHeart: yer a jerk MattGenuineDraft: well, you go get the car MattGenuineDraft: im not tryin to be MattGenuineDraft: i jus wanna decide what to do with my stuff FckStartMyHeart: .... MattGenuineDraft: cuz, i am fuckin spooked as fuck MattGenuineDraft: il try to call you when i get there MattGenuineDraft: so you know FckStartMyHeart: OMG thank you so much MattGenuineDraft: you could also check the news MattGenuineDraft: or MattGenuineDraft: the air lines MattGenuineDraft: to see FckStartMyHeart: u have no idea i'm gonna be so STRESSED FckStartMyHeart: wut airline is it? FckStartMyHeart: and wut flight FckStartMyHeart: do u kno? MattGenuineDraft: um MattGenuineDraft: im gettin the itenary FckStartMyHeart: matt i wish u wudn't go. three ppl same dream is pretty fucking weird MattGenuineDraft: ok MattGenuineDraft: america west MattGenuineDraft: from san jose to pheonix flight 234 MattGenuineDraft: from pheonix to costa 350 FckStartMyHeart: matt i'm gonna pray for you. first time in 14 years i'm gonna pray. on yer return flight, too. when are u guys flying back? MattGenuineDraft: on the ninth FckStartMyHeart: and when i get u back i'm never letting u set foot on a plane again, dammit FckStartMyHeart: lol MattGenuineDraft: leave costa at 740 am MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: good MattGenuineDraft: i hate planes MattGenuineDraft: god help us FckStartMyHeart: seriously FckStartMyHeart: matt FckStartMyHeart: god i wish u guys could just... not go... none of u MattGenuineDraft: i dont know what to do, shit, im not gonna back out now, but jeez, if i do die, i will feel like such a jackass FckStartMyHeart: i don't want anything to happen to any of you MattGenuineDraft: cuz i would have been alive and had you MattGenuineDraft: ugh MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: ... FckStartMyHeart: i love you matt FckStartMyHeart: know that. all my craziness aside. i love you with all of my heart and soul MattGenuineDraft: flght from costa to pheonix 807 MattGenuineDraft: from pheonix to san jose 291 FckStartMyHeart: who's picking you guys up? FckStartMyHeart: would u be pissed if i was there? FckStartMyHeart: cuz yeah... FckStartMyHeart: no FckStartMyHeart: i don't think i could do that FckStartMyHeart: waiting FckStartMyHeart: god FckStartMyHeart: no FckStartMyHeart: just call me FckStartMyHeart: unless u want me to pick u up FckStartMyHeart: ... FckStartMyHeart: no MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: nm MattGenuineDraft: that is alright FckStartMyHeart: i wont do it FckStartMyHeart: i can't do that MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: fa shizzle FckStartMyHeart: yeah if i waited over there for you that would just drive me nuts with worry... please call me right when u get off the plane, though... please? when u get to costa and when u get back? fckStartMyHeart wants to directly connect. MattGenuineDraft is now directly connected. FckStartMyHeart: rate limit is a bitch MattGenuineDraft: fa shizzle in ma nizzle MattGenuineDraft: well, you go get your car FckStartMyHeart: so u'll call me tho? MattGenuineDraft: ima go start nappin down MattGenuineDraft: i will try FckStartMyHeart: when u get there AND when u get back? MattGenuineDraft: if i have access to a ophone MattGenuineDraft: the second week MattGenuineDraft: internet MattGenuineDraft: so i will email you FckStartMyHeart: i just... god matt i love you so much... i can't lose you ESPECIALLY NOT LIKE THAT FckStartMyHeart: okay MattGenuineDraft: is that good enough FckStartMyHeart: *sigh* MattGenuineDraft: so be welcome to email me MattGenuineDraft: but yea MattGenuineDraft: um, take off the alert to my cel FckStartMyHeart: .... FckStartMyHeart: why MattGenuineDraft: mom is gonna be using it while im gone FckStartMyHeart: oh FckStartMyHeart: um FckStartMyHeart: wuts the password? FckStartMyHeart: nm FckStartMyHeart: it's prolly either FckStartMyHeart: beerrules or duncan MattGenuineDraft: um FckStartMyHeart: i'll figure it out MattGenuineDraft: you nig MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: if it's not one its the other right? FckStartMyHeart: =P MattGenuineDraft: i got an IM from you MattGenuineDraft: all ity had MattGenuineDraft: was MattGenuineDraft: nigger FckStartMyHeart: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH FckStartMyHeart: wow FckStartMyHeart: my housemate and i were discussing derogatory terms FckStartMyHeart: and i was like FckStartMyHeart: yeh matt calls everyone nigger MattGenuineDraft: OMG FckStartMyHeart: even if they're white FckStartMyHeart: and i guess MattGenuineDraft: hahahahah FckStartMyHeart: they decided that u are a nigger MattGenuineDraft: WTF FckStartMyHeart: =P MattGenuineDraft: those fgn niggers FckStartMyHeart: hahahahhahahahaha FckStartMyHeart: yeah... MattGenuineDraft: SPICS, waps, jew, NIGGERS MattGenuineDraft: guh MattGenuineDraft: fucken jerks FckStartMyHeart: actually... i think they're chinks MattGenuineDraft: they can be so rude MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: why, bad drivers? FckStartMyHeart: iono FckStartMyHeart: but it's not mandarin FckStartMyHeart: i think they speak cantonese FckStartMyHeart: they're playi PS2 rite now FckStartMyHeart: some racing game FckStartMyHeart: matt FckStartMyHeart: we're gonna be okay, right? MattGenuineDraft: maybe MattGenuineDraft: iono FckStartMyHeart: the last two times i had shitty dreams like this and had this fucking sick feeling in my stomach... LOTS OF PPL DIED MattGenuineDraft: yea MattGenuineDraft: um, shitty feeling? FckStartMyHeart: so i REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT U TO GO FckStartMyHeart: that feeling in my gut FckStartMyHeart: that makes me wanna cry FckStartMyHeart: like i had the morning of september 11th and the day of the tenth FckStartMyHeart: and that one week i had that shitty feeling FckStartMyHeart: and then u sed there was some earthquake and a bunch of ppl died FckStartMyHeart: i just FckStartMyHeart: ugh FckStartMyHeart: give me a little reassurance here, please? FckStartMyHeart: we're gonna be okay, right? FckStartMyHeart: yer gonna come back to me? FckStartMyHeart: yer not leaving me forever? MattGenuineDraft: il prob give you another chance MattGenuineDraft: dont know if its gonna be rightr when i get back MattGenuineDraft: or a month after that MattGenuineDraft: i dont know at this point FckStartMyHeart: sweetie... please just try with me FckStartMyHeart: if u jus move in FckStartMyHeart: that's the thing that made me start slippin off the edge in the first place FckStartMyHeart: i mean FckStartMyHeart: really FckStartMyHeart: it'll be perfect again FckStartMyHeart: and if it's not i can give u time FckStartMyHeart: i just... i can't give up without a fight u kno? FckStartMyHeart: and it kills me that i might lose you FckStartMyHeart: i fucking hate this feeling in my stomach FckStartMyHeart: hopefully some more arabs die FckStartMyHeart: in iraq FckStartMyHeart: or something FckStartMyHeart: and not you MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: yea MattGenuineDraft: i mean FckStartMyHeart: dammit. u are a BAD influence on my mind. fucker. MattGenuineDraft: they are jus gonna kill each other anyways FckStartMyHeart: i can't believe i jus said that FckStartMyHeart: i don't want ANYONE to die FckStartMyHeart: dammit matt MattGenuineDraft: so who cares if there is an earthquake ther MattGenuineDraft: hahahahaha MattGenuineDraft: sry MattGenuineDraft: see, you are such a bitchnow MattGenuineDraft: heh MattGenuineDraft: well, if i do die MattGenuineDraft: you can have my car MattGenuineDraft: game cube MattGenuineDraft: and alll the games MattGenuineDraft: the playstation 2 MattGenuineDraft: my bed FckStartMyHeart: ... write it down and give that to me tomorrow. MattGenuineDraft: my football cards FckStartMyHeart: matt MattGenuineDraft: well, that is about it FckStartMyHeart: stop talking about this MattGenuineDraft: you can jus have it all FckStartMyHeart: that's makin my tummy feel worse FckStartMyHeart: thank you, baby FckStartMyHeart: but please stop MattGenuineDraft: will this make you feel better FckStartMyHeart: i don't want to think about losing you MattGenuineDraft: when i get back MattGenuineDraft: we will take a road trip within a month MattGenuineDraft: go some where nice MattGenuineDraft: like universal FckStartMyHeart: =) FckStartMyHeart: u mean it? MattGenuineDraft: sure MattGenuineDraft: and mayb i can win jen over with booz MattGenuineDraft: and get a 3some FckStartMyHeart: yeah. that did make me feel a little better MattGenuineDraft: eh? FckStartMyHeart: um jen? no. k stan would KILL you FckStartMyHeart: oh and i was talkin to cam MattGenuineDraft: haha FckStartMyHeart: and he sez fuck u and that he can hang out w/ whoever he wants including me FckStartMyHeart: lol FckStartMyHeart: er something like that FckStartMyHeart: but yeh MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: so u shud prolly talk to them FckStartMyHeart: =P FckStartMyHeart: i mean, k stan wants to be my best friend cuz he FckStartMyHeart: s sprung on jen MattGenuineDraft: well, get jen here so he has somethin to do FckStartMyHeart: so i don't think he's gonna give me up w/o a fight matt FckStartMyHeart: HAHAHHAHAHAHA FckStartMyHeart: i don't think he'll be able to DO her MattGenuineDraft: and cam will follow FckStartMyHeart: yeh MattGenuineDraft: cuz he is kstans bitch FckStartMyHeart: cam is jus yeh FckStartMyHeart: like rough is yer bitch MattGenuineDraft: yea FckStartMyHeart: ;-P FckStartMyHeart: when i was upset over rough FckStartMyHeart: everyone's like FckStartMyHeart: get over it. when matt likes u again, rough will too FckStartMyHeart: he's matt's bitch MattGenuineDraft: hahah FckStartMyHeart: so i got over it FckStartMyHeart: lol MattGenuineDraft: who said that? FckStartMyHeart: um... like 5 ppl FckStartMyHeart: not all exactly like that FckStartMyHeart: but all pretty much the same meaning FckStartMyHeart: rough = matt's bitch FckStartMyHeart: hey how long u gonna be on? imma go get my car... MattGenuineDraft: ino MattGenuineDraft: a while MattGenuineDraft: prob til like 11 MattGenuineDraft: go MattGenuineDraft: go get it FckStartMyHeart: wait FckStartMyHeart: where are we gonna meet tomorrow? MattGenuineDraft: um MattGenuineDraft: what is a good spot? FckStartMyHeart: ... MattGenuineDraft: in SC FckStartMyHeart: um... i have no clue, baby MattGenuineDraft: at 7 30 MattGenuineDraft: lol, you lived there MattGenuineDraft: lol, you should know FckStartMyHeart: west cliff? it's sorta pretty FckStartMyHeart: jus park on the cliff facing the ocean? MattGenuineDraft: oh, that beach, where i took you MattGenuineDraft: past the b walk FckStartMyHeart: or do u want more privacy? FckStartMyHeart: yeah MattGenuineDraft: doesnt matter MattGenuineDraft: i figure if we start fuckin FckStartMyHeart: u cud jus come by 7-11 and get me agn MattGenuineDraft: it doenst matter where FckStartMyHeart: .... MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: what MattGenuineDraft: its tru though MattGenuineDraft: i mean, privacy would be nice an all FckStartMyHeart: ..... MattGenuineDraft: but i figure your jus gonna do it any wehre FckStartMyHeart: =P FckStartMyHeart: no FckStartMyHeart: no sex FckStartMyHeart: my tummy feels like shit MattGenuineDraft: hwo abotu that same macies? MattGenuineDraft: eh? FckStartMyHeart: imma be SO nervous MattGenuineDraft: haha FckStartMyHeart: lol MattGenuineDraft: fa shizzle FckStartMyHeart: u have no idea MattGenuineDraft: be like, yes, we are back MattGenuineDraft: ahahahah FckStartMyHeart: these dreams of mine... FckStartMyHeart: i don't take them too lightly FckStartMyHeart: and it's fucked up FckStartMyHeart: that i dreamt of yer plan crashing MattGenuineDraft: mine was real vivid FckStartMyHeart: and madman did MattGenuineDraft: jus liek all i got of it was a plane crash MattGenuineDraft: it wasnt like i saw anyone FckStartMyHeart: mine was very very detailed FckStartMyHeart: i saw u MattGenuineDraft: did you see faces FckStartMyHeart: but then MattGenuineDraft: tell me details, so if its to real FckStartMyHeart: the dream that i had about 911 FckStartMyHeart: wasn't specific FckStartMyHeart: it was like MattGenuineDraft: i will get off the plane FckStartMyHeart: the twin towers FckStartMyHeart: and then i was in a building FckStartMyHeart: and or jus walls FckStartMyHeart: and i was trying to get out FckStartMyHeart: andthe world was falling apart around me FckStartMyHeart: and ppl screaming FckStartMyHeart: and yelling MattGenuineDraft: yea MattGenuineDraft: meh FckStartMyHeart: but mostly screaming MattGenuineDraft: explain this last dreaming FckStartMyHeart: the one witht he plane? MattGenuineDraft: who was i sittin gby FckStartMyHeart: it was in flashes FckStartMyHeart: it was weird FckStartMyHeart: u were in the terminal MattGenuineDraft: was there anyone else MattGenuineDraft: like not in the group FckStartMyHeart: and then u guys were doing something like putting yer bags up MattGenuineDraft: that is the tru test FckStartMyHeart: huh? MattGenuineDraft: like, what did some one look like MattGenuineDraft: did you catch anyone else FckStartMyHeart: it wasn't that detailed MattGenuineDraft: like another tourist FckStartMyHeart: i didn't notice anyone else MattGenuineDraft: was it the way to san jo FckStartMyHeart: my dream was focused on jus u guys MattGenuineDraft: what was i wearing MattGenuineDraft: cuz i alreayd have it picked out FckStartMyHeart: oh that won't be right FckStartMyHeart: cuz u were wearing the shirt that i have in my room rightn ow FckStartMyHeart: but i think that's cuz it was in my possession FckStartMyHeart: so i dreamt about it MattGenuineDraft: hm MattGenuineDraft: what pants MattGenuineDraft: shorts or jeans FckStartMyHeart: don't remember MattGenuineDraft: or dockers MattGenuineDraft: what about rough FckStartMyHeart: don't remember that MattGenuineDraft: what was rough MattGenuineDraft: trev MattGenuineDraft: who was there MattGenuineDraft: how many ppl FckStartMyHeart: .... MattGenuineDraft: was his dad there FckStartMyHeart: matt FckStartMyHeart: don't make me try to remember the dream MattGenuineDraft: im jsu tryin to make you feel better MattGenuineDraft: ugh MattGenuineDraft: by provin to you FckStartMyHeart: i've spent the past week trying to FORGET IT MattGenuineDraft: that its not gnna happen FckStartMyHeart: yeh FckStartMyHeart: *sigh* MattGenuineDraft: meh FckStartMyHeart: but i still have the sick feeling in my tummy MattGenuineDraft: well, go get your car MattGenuineDraft: that is cuz me and madman had simular dreams FckStartMyHeart: u made me feel better when u sed we'd go on a road trip, though FckStartMyHeart: i had the dream before either of u FckStartMyHeart: unless u guys jus dint tell me FckStartMyHeart: i had mine a week ago MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: i dotn know when i had mine MattGenuineDraft: it was either a day dream at work MattGenuineDraft: or before i wenht to work at like 6 am MattGenuineDraft: meh MattGenuineDraft: really vivid MattGenuineDraft: meh FckStartMyHeart: yeh FckStartMyHeart: ditto FckStartMyHeart: scary FckStartMyHeart: and bad FckStartMyHeart: very very bad FckStartMyHeart: who knows... maybe in the 3 weeks yer there some other plane will crash and it won't ahve anything to do with yers MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: um MattGenuineDraft: hwoabout MattGenuineDraft: lets jus hpe we are all jus paranoid FckStartMyHeart: .... MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: hey 9-11 MattGenuineDraft: and dilusional MattGenuineDraft: ugh MattGenuineDraft: that was alucky guess FckStartMyHeart: unless that was a freak coicidence MattGenuineDraft: you couled have jus had a night mare FckStartMyHeart: and the earthquake? MattGenuineDraft: and it could be a coinceidence FckStartMyHeart: okay i had a random nightmare about two pillars falling and then i was inside a five walled thing and the world was screaming FckStartMyHeart: sure... coincidence MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: a fucking disturbing coincidence thank you very much MattGenuineDraft: its so vauge FckStartMyHeart: screaming MattGenuineDraft: yyea FckStartMyHeart: dust FckStartMyHeart: lots of dust MattGenuineDraft: meh MattGenuineDraft: anywhoe MattGenuineDraft: stop spooking me FckStartMyHeart: i'm spooked!!! MattGenuineDraft: grrr FckStartMyHeart: i don't want u go DIE matt FckStartMyHeart: ... FckStartMyHeart: it' snot fun MattGenuineDraft: ima goa play with jame, he doesnt spooke me FckStartMyHeart: trust me!!! MattGenuineDraft: .... FckStartMyHeart: i've done it!!! FckStartMyHeart: =P FckStartMyHeart: shit MattGenuineDraft: you go get your car FckStartMyHeart: kl MattGenuineDraft: il go play with jammie FckStartMyHeart: ... FckStartMyHeart: no MattGenuineDraft: everything will be fine MattGenuineDraft: what, why not FckStartMyHeart: okay fine play with jamie i won't have anyting to swallow tomorrow then FckStartMyHeart: =P FckStartMyHeart: jerk MattGenuineDraft: what Auto response from FckStartMyHeart: "All that really matters is just following your heart And eventually you'll finally get it right." Kaitlyn "Kat" Ho: d�j� bless�. Sauvez-moi. Cassez-moi. MattGenuineDraft: well, jus incase you dont feel like it MattGenuineDraft: i dont wanna be on a flight with a loaded gun MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: well, it will be sorta loaded by then MattGenuineDraft: enough for breakfast atleast MattGenuineDraft: breakfast is supposed to be a small meal FckStartMyHeart: matt FckStartMyHeart: i love u FckStartMyHeart: and if tomorrow morning FckStartMyHeart: i feel loved FckStartMyHeart: there's no way yer getting on that plane with a loaded anything MattGenuineDraft: lol MattGenuineDraft: um, interesting MattGenuineDraft: jamie says poke poke MattGenuineDraft: lol FckStartMyHeart: .... FckStartMyHeart: i'll be back k? FckStartMyHeart: <3 MattGenuineDraft: k MattGenuineDraft: comp is actin up MattGenuineDraft: ugh FckStartMyHeart: <3 <3 <3 MattGenuineDraft: il call you later The love is there. He's gonna leave... And I might lose him to death... Maybe it'll be my punishment for cheating death. I just know that I never wanted him to go. And that I'm in so much fucking pain right now that sometimes it hurts to think. And most of the time it hurts to breathe. If I lose him to Costa Rica... It will destroy me. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .