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I will never ever beat my children
July 04, 2003 ~ 3:56 AM
Because of the fact that my parents enjoy beating the living shit out of me as a recreational activity, I will never ever hit my children. Mike's wrong when he assumes this. Break the mold. No more. Why continue something so bad? Andy says that I'm trying to hard. Maybe I should just wait for Trent to do something. For someone to do something. Am I trying too hard? I still call him... even though I said that I wouldn't... I don't know if he would forgive me. If he'd done the same to me I would forgive him... but if I were him... I would not forgive Kat. Does that make sense at all? I doubt it. Could be because I'm not exactly sober at the moment... Yeah me and Andy are getting really close... The more I get to know him the more I love him. As a friend, of course... as a housemate... I am so so so thankful for him.... He keeps my mind off of... things... and even if my mind wanders back to "things" he'll humor me and discuss and then slyly change the subject. He took me out to dinner tonight... Sabieng that Thai restaurant.. OMG it was so good. Then we went and saw Sinbad. That was a really really great movie. I really wanna see the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen cuz Shane West is in that movie with long hair and he looks so fucking hot. And then I do something like wonder how Trent looks like. This is ridiculous. I've never even seen him in person... I'm not so sure if he still wants to see me in person... I'm still in shock over his hanging up on me earlier today when I called. Ouchies. Pain chases me around, doesn't it. It just does. Whether I inadvertantly inflict it or I woefully experience it, pain does seem to follow me around. I don't care... I'm gonna try. I want to at least MEET him... you know? I mean... Iono... He's a kitty. Lol. Come on, how many guys out there do YOU know who's a kitty? I know a bunch of girls who try to be cats, but guys? He's just... awesome. I'm gonna hafta try to get him to forgive me... try to see if a relationship could develop between two people with no cars living 45 minutes away from each other. I need to talk to him. But I'm so scared of rejection... I keep putting it off... Super Mario Sunshine has done a lot for me... Andy has done a lot for me... Distractions are good. Otherwise I'd be sitting in my room crying. There's no way for me to look into his head or his heart. The only way for this to work is for me to get some guts and ask him nicely to please come over. Lol. Please try. If you don't like it you can leave. I think he'll eventually quit cigarettes. He said that he wanted to... And if he knew that I just really can't stand cigarettes... maybe he'll understand? I know I love him... I wanna spend time with him and if nothing else at least be his friend. Here kitty, kitty, kitty... Come to Kat.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....