Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry will power July 16, 2003 ~ 1:33 AM So last night, Andy tells me that I have "absolutely no fucking self control". I was depressed. You know how I get... Sometimes when I get really depressed I just EAT. But I didn't yesterday. I just ate my Slim Fast. And refrained from any other sort of food? And when I got home last night... I wasn't hungry... but I was craving food... Cuz my Prozac takes a little time to get all nice and situated in my body. Yeah... I kept on saying that I want food. At some point I asked Andy not to let me go to the kitchen. At some point later on he basically yells at me and chastises me for not having any self control because I wanted to eat! I didn't eat. Matt was here. Even though Andy was making me more sad... by being angry... I didn't eat anything... But after Matt left... I ate. And when I went to bed... I thought... well, gee. Andy was right, wasn't he? I have no will power. So when I got up for work this morning, {I didn't really sleep... spent the whole night thinking... I was honestly very upset cuz I'd brought Matt over to introduce to Andy and Matt was exhausted and didn't say a word and Andy was cranky and was being a dick and I had totally disappointed myself by getting sad over Andy telling me I have no will power and then proving just that} I decided that I'm not gonna eat anything. I didn't. The only thing I ate on July 15 was a single white chocolate chip that fell off of a brownie in Marini's downtown. And I just ate a Boca burger right now... but that doens't count... cuz it's 1 something AM. So means it's already Wednesday. New day. There, Andy. How's that for will power? I didn't eat the ENTIRE day. Go me. Yeah I need to open tomorrow at Fascination... So I'd better get to bed... mmm.... I think I'm gonna hafta take my sleeping pills... otherwise I'll think too much... Travis from WA just gave me a whole shit load of stuff to dwell on and think about. I'm still almost speechless when I think about it. The story is not mine to tell so I won't. Nite. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .