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So I just got fired.
August 23, 2003 ~ 3:57 PM
And I'm not sad. I don't know why. I can go turn in those videos that me and Matt got. I can take care of all the shit with Dominican for charging me $650 to keep me there against my will. When they wouldn't take me in when it was my choice... Lol. I can go to the gym. No I can't. I still feel sick. Dude I'm seriously getting scared. I mean, how long can this last? I feel sick every day. I can barely swallow food. I made a real good show of it when I went to the Saturn Cafe with Noah.. but dude... I wanted to throw up every single bite. I did get used to that... feeling like throwing up but knowing I won't. And instead of getting hungry... I get this feeling at the base of my esophagus like there is a pool of WATER sitting there. Just cool and clear and... disturbing. Do you think I'm dying? Wouldn't that be ironic. All that shit I used to say about Noah being the love of my life and I'm not dead yet... I get him back and I die. Meh. I think I might know why I'm weird like this but I'll never know for sure, right? I wish it'd go away cuz it's scaring me. And I think I'm gonna go get new glasses. I need to pay all the fucking bills I have for housing and telephone from when I still lived at UCSC. Lol. Fuckers. Charging me shit when I wasn't even THERE. So I think even if I had to pay all this, I could still make rent. Modeling is looking up. There's a guy who wants to shoot me Maxim style for $70/hour. That's pretty good. I'll make at LEAST $140. I definitely have this covered for this month. I just need to find another job and SOON. I wish the day cares that I called would call back. Maybe I should call again. Meh. Gonna take care of some business now... Yeah.
So random fact. Exactly a year ago, Abel Luque broke up with me and broke my fucking heart. A year. Exactly.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol
July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....