Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry is it possible to overdose on Runts? September 21, 2003 ~ 3:58 AM New song by Martina McBride. It's for me. This one's for the girls Who've ever had a broken heart Who've wished upon a shooting star You're beautiful the way you are This one's for the girls Who love without holdin' back Who dream with everything they have All around the world This one's for the girls This one's for all the girls It's a pretty stupid song. But I love Martina's voice. It's great. It's for me. The song just doesn't appeal to me. The "who" it was directed towards intrigued me. Meh. I'm listening to rap right now. And I realize how amazing it is how thinly they can stretch approximate rhyme. Ingenious? Or horrific? There is a new song that I have declared my favorite song. Where is the Love by Black Eyed Peas. That song rocks my world. So I spent today with Matt. As I believe I will spend most of my days... ::sigh:: I love that kid to pieces. And he's just got so much love for me. I wish he could just love me as a friend, though... I don't want to deprive him of a high school relationship with a pretty girl. Meh. I mean... I trained him. Lol. Now I should send him out into the real world? Lol. I can't even look at him without wanting to hug him to death. I know he deserves better than me. Me and him could be *great* friends cuz we have fun even when we weren't making out. You know? Meh. I guess I'll be here as long as he wants me. I think he should ask that Raquel girl out first and see if she sez yes. I'm just NOT INTERESTED in any guy right now. And I can't seem to develop any interest in any guy. Noah is just... Iono. Who cares about Noah? I'll care about him when he gives me a reason to. I'm sure he'll disappear from my life again. And here I am... letting him. I've got my friends. I've got Matt who's my bestest friend in the world right now. Matt's my best friend... I wonder who HIS best friend is? ::cough, cough:: Matt's hair is getting really long. His sexiness is almost overwhelming. But alas... the acne. Lol. He would be absolutely PERFECT if he didn't have any acne. He's just adorable. His love is very soft. And he tells me he loves me, too. Not like he has any trouble showing it. He's just got problems saying it. Very insecure about his manhood, that boy. Homophobic like you don't even know. But so damned sweet it makes up for any and all his faults. I like when he tucks me in. Even though I get up to do things shortly after he leaves. It's still sweet of him. To tuck me in. Lol. Awww... Yeah... I've realized by now that I really don't need Prozac. Go me. And I realized that I NEED my hang-over inducing sleeping pills. Cuz I can't sleep without them. Not until some ungodly hour. I think I shall take a walk to the beach. And watch the sun come up. I don't know if I could walk back in time. Or if I'll freeze. I'm not sure if I have a photo shoot today. Sal never did get back to me. Meh. I got to talk to Chad this morning! It was 7 where he was. Three hour time difference. I find that his diary entries always can make me laugh. Even if I've read them before. They are funny every time. He is just THAT good. But then, I laff at myself when I step on dirty underwear. It's really weird that... There are these people that I find on the internet. And they intrigue me so much that if I try to talk to them, it makes me nervous. I am so scared of being REJECTED. I mean, I get enough rejection. But these people, I respect them. And am thoroughly intrigued. So rejection from them would really suck ass. Well... then... I talk to them more. And I realize that wow. They are human. And that's cool. Cuz that's what I am. Even if I'm not as smart or funny or mysterious or sexy or trendy as them, they're still just human. Capable of being dicks and bitches or being the sweetest most considerate people ever. Same as the people I meet in person. Meh. And stuff. I also found that inanity's descriptions in his older entries page does not necessarily coincide with the actual entry... so it is VERY HARD to find a certain entry to locate it's URL. =P OMG my boobs hurt. Lol. I'm sure you all wanted to know that. Not. But yeah... this diary is for ME and not YOU. So if you didn't wanna know you shouldn't have read. I dunno why my boobs have been hurting. My nipples have been extremely sensitive. When I shower and run my hands or my loofa over them, it's so painful I yelp! It's horrible. Grrr... For some weird reason... I juss thought "RUSSIA" in the way that I say it for Noah... makes him laugh. Makes me feel silly... but he likes it... so I say it... Lol. You should hear it, I sound ridiculous. Oh and I realize that I'm only allergic to myself when I put my hair down. Matt likes my hair down so I leave it down but OMG my face starts itching and shit. It's HORRIBLE!!! The things women do for beauty. Lol. Itch. God I wish it hurt instead. Do you know how hard it is to scratch your face everywhere and not hard enough so you create blemishes? Cursed life of a model... Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .