Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry Los Angeles, here I come... September 24, 2003 ~ 6:23 AM So what do you do when you don't feel safe in your home? You move. I've decided tonight to move down to LA as soon as possible. Even if it was Noah. I mean, yeah. It prolly was. But that doesn't shake the feeling of being violated. It doesn't get rid of the fact that I don't feel safe in here. I have all the lights on. I usually have them off by 5A. I have a feeling they will be on all day. And that Matt isn't coming in through the window anymore. Cuz that shit is gonna stay LOCKED. Fuck looking for a job here. I'm gonna start looking for someone to sublet my room. And look for an apt down in Glendora at the same time. Citrus College. I hate the fuck out of Citrus College. Damned rooms with no windows. SO claustrophobic. Every single classroom is the same. No windows. Ew. At least I'll feel safe in Glendora. I've never felt unsafe in Glendora before. No, wait. After I lost my virginity. For those few months. I didn't feel safe in the apt. That was easily fixed. I just left. That's what I did tonight. The fear and insecurity though seemingly foolish were overwhelming me. I left. And I talked to a pretty cat sitting on top of the fence at 107 Peach Terrace. I miss my cat. I can't wait to move back down to LA. Aidan thinks I should do it. I don't let anyone affect my choice, though. This decision was made for me by me. Because... someone was in my room. With my things. While I was gone. Without me knowing. {deep breaths, kat} I dunno why that makes me feel like crying. It just feels so much like rape. It feels so final. I know that I'll move back up here to Santa Cruz eventually. I will. I love Santa Cruz and I'm gonna teach at the elementary school here. And one day I'm gonna be able to go into Blue Lagoon and hit on hot women =P I'm just... going back to LA for a little. See if the person that I found up here is real. Because if she is, then nothing can change her, not even going to the location that her shitty past took place. Last Entry - Next Entry - Newest Entry ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ �MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES� August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again... July 29, 2004 [3:57 AM] - Forgiveness... Meh. Lol July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards* July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean.... .