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I'm alright. It only hurts when I breathe.
November 28, 2002 ~ 10:48 PM
Due to the fact that people have been reading my diary, twisting my words, and using my own thoughts against me, my diary will now be locked. If you do wish to read it, please tell me and we will get you a user name and a password. =) I'll have it locked when I think everyone who wants to read it has gotten usernames and passwords. Only giving you guys a few days, though.
I'm better. I'm sure some of you were worried. But I'm better. I am forcing myself to eat. I did sleep well I guess. After I wrote in my diary I went to bed. I woke up at 7 AM today with a nightmare. I don't remember it anymore. I was just lying in bed for the whole day. I was in so much pain. My everything hurt. It made me sad that I didn't get to go see Abel. I miss him so much. Jamie came in to check up on me at some point. She's a sweetie. Brad doesn't really like her. I don't know why. They used to hang out and stuff. Brad called me today. He's a sweetie. When I fist picked up I thought he was Abel. Lol. Their voices sound the same on the phone. I went to Thanksgiving dinner. Got to hang out with Matt, that pretty boy from Ohio. He's gay. And here I thought he was just hella effeminate. Wishful thinking, I'm sure. I got to watch Andrew Catalano all night. That always cheers me up just seeing him. I think I love him almost as much as I love Abel. Prolly not though. It may simply be that Andrew happens to be closer. He gave me a hug as I was leaving after dinner. I thought he was going home but I guess he changed his mind? I loved that hug. Just being in his arms... I just drink in his essense. He is such an amazing person. I can't believe that I had him for a little while. He's too good for me. ::Sigh:: Abel called me. =) He actually stayed home cuz he thought I would go down there. I was in no shape to drive yesterday. I think he misses me too... he just won't admit it. He's scared of me cuz I'm so determined to win his heart over. He's giving me a place to stay from the 17th to the 23rd. I get to live with him for a week. How lovely is that? I get to be with him again. Brad called me again after Abel. And I thought it was Abel calling back. Lol. I'm gonna get so confused over these two guys. Cept Brad never calls me a dick. I think Abel is a little jealous of my guys up here. It's all good. Brad and I think that Peter may get attached to me. Cuz afterall, I am the first girl he's ever slept with. And I'm just so damned fun! Lol. J/K. The last thing I wanna do is hurt him. But he deserves much better than me. Boys are so weird. Peter's such a good friend to me. He seems to really care about me. It's nice to have someone hold my hand as I drift to sleep after crying... He was so nice to me last night. Mary is obviously wrong about how Peter and Brad feel about me. They certainly are my friends. I've come to the conclusion that she just has no idea what she's talking about and chooses to believe in falsehoods. She prolly believes in god, too. Ha. I'll be okay though. I always do end up okay. Until the next time something happens. Oh well. My soul hurts and my feelings hurt more so than the little scratches on my wrist and my arm. Physical pain goes away quickly. The pain inside me doesn't. I'm too emotional.
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�MY 5 MOST RECENT ENTRIES�
August 02, 2004 [3:29 AM] - Took the HELL test again...
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July 28, 2004 [4:54 PM] - Emotional Limbo... *bends over backwards*
July 28, 2004 [1:29 PM] - the miracle of Moo
July 28, 2004 [3:05 AM] - The sound of the ocean....