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My day today. Meh.
December 22, 2002 ~ 1:05 AM
Hung out with Charlie today. Dunno what we really did. Took Jen with us. At one point in time, Charlie calls me. I tell him I'll call him back. A little later, he calls me again. I ask him wuts up and he tells me "oh, nothing, he's just waiting for me to call him back"... by calling me, I guess. Lol. What a dork. Yeah, me and Jen and Charlie and James wanted to go to some street fair. James was driving and he didn't know where we were going. So we ended up at the mall. It was lots of walking. Considering I didn't get too much sleep the night before, (fell asleep at about 4:30 AM and woke up about 8:40 AM) I had no idea where I dug up the energy to walk around the mall. (I'm so tired right now.) So we came back. And I went shopping. I stole a bunch of stuff that I needed. I'm gonna make Christmas cookies and cupcakes to take to May's on Christmas. Cookies for my friends too since I don't really have any presents for them. I got a present for Peter. I was in his room a lot and I noticed he had a Far Side desk calendar that was really funny. I got him a new one for 2003 cuz I remember asking him if he had one for next year and he sed not yet. So yeah. I'm gonna mail that to him along with a thank you card for him and his family. Once I get around to making Christmas cards tomorrow. I'll prolly do that all night tomorrow. Darn, I don't have any supplies. I guess I can always buy cards for people but that's just so... bleh. I'll figure something out, yo. So yeah, you know how Noah asked me to develop those two rolls of film we found in his room? He sed they're prolly just blank. Lol. Funny. They are all pictures of his ex. Not all of them... some are him with his family. Like, ten, out of the two rolls of film. Sure Noah. Lol. I didn't care really, it's just why would he say that they're blank? Did he expect me to not look at them? (Cat=Curious; Me=Cat; ergo Me=Curious) My curiousity would have killed me. Plus I love pictures anyway. =P Oh well. I'm over it. He doesn't take any pictures of me! =P Lol. That was my weak attempt at sounding/acting jealous. I don't think it worked cuz I wasn't even convinced. I'm just not a jealous person, I guess. It was weird though, seeing so many pictures of Jen. (From now on, Noah's ex is Jen and I'm just gonna call my sister Jenupa. It sucks that they have the same name, go figure) Jenupa was shocked to see the pictures of Jen. She thinks that Jen is really really ugly. Lol. It was so mean. She's like, OMG his ex is so ugly! What did he see in her? Ah, the superficiality of youth. Lol. I didn't find Noah attractive at the beginning. Not at all. (My aversion to facial hair and all; I was actually scared when I first met him) Personality counts for a lot. But then Jenupa also knows that Jen prolly had a great personality. She just liked saying that "OMG Jen is SO ugly!" lol. Iono. My little sister can be really mean but hey, she's fifteen. I keep telling her that looks aren't everything. She told me "But, she's so UGLY!" Lol It was actually quite funny. Jenupa approves of Noah. I'm so glad. Jen gets annoying with the "I told you so"s if she doesn't like the guy and he hurts me. Cuz they always do. She likes Noah. I hope that's a good sign, yes? Mhmm. So yeah. I bought orange juice and white bread and wheat bread for my family. Cuz I dunno. I'm gonna be like Noah and drink lotsa orange juice, but I'm still gonna drink more milk of course. And I decided to get wheat bread cuz it's healthier and stuff. meh. Stephanie came over for the Hoobastank concert. It was good to see her again. I feel like I've been neglecting her lately. Too wrapped up in Noah and Peter affairs and such. My new best friend Peter. She loves him, too. And she admitted to me tonight that she was actually gonna go fer Noah. Lol. That would not have worked. When they were introduced, he was already in love with me. Hehe. =D I win. I love that boy so much. You have absolutely no idea. He's pretty much everything to me. Meh. I miss him. I needed him tonight... The concert was awesome. It was great. I love S.T.U.N. still. And Hoobastank rocked. Home Town Hero was really good too. They played right before S.T.U.N. It was just... there was this guy. This huge fat Hispanic guy in a yellow T-shirt. He was sexually harrassing me and molesting me and stuff. You know how at concerts yer all packed like sardines? Yeah... That guy was behind me. And he was like grabbing my butt. And he actually stuck his hand down the front of my pants, into my underwear. I was so terrified. It's like, I'm not that strong, but I panicked and I shoved him back. But of course he just pushed into my even more. Like, the crowd wasn't even pushing him. I was watching behind him cuz I was looking for Jenupa. And he tried to stick his hand up my shirt. And then got his fingers down my pants again. I felt so violated. That fear swept over me... you prolly dunno about that fear. It's a certain fear... Not really explainable. But To try to explain, it was the same fear I felt when that Hispanic man tried to kidnap me in fourth grade and I was terrified. That same fear. It was awful. I was so scared. So I squirmed out from in front of him but he tried to follow me.. It was like the kidnapper chasing me through Target. OMG. it was so bad. I just freaked. You have no idea how much I wanted to be in Noah's arms right then. I didn't just need a hug... I needed a hug from someone who truly loves me and makes me feel safe. That would be Noah. Or Peter actually. Ricky? Iono. I was just yearning for Noah. i don't think I've ever needed him so much than in that moment. You know what was worse, though? I put someone between us. Then Jen tried to follow me. She ended up in front of him. I didn't notice this til too late. I looked down to see what my shoelaces were doing (wasn't smart enough to double knot them yet) and I see the guy's hand on my sister's stomach. I was so pissed(and it is very hard to get me mad, let alone pissed). I yanked my sister out of the way and then I dragged her with me far behind him. Screw being in the front and being able to see the band. Yeah, screw that. A fifteen year old does not deserve sexual harrassment. My parents have always told me that it's my job to protect my sister. =) I wouldn't let her anywhere near him again. I actually preferred her to be towards the back and near the moshpit (which I kept on taking part in, by the way hehe) far away from yellow-shirt-dude. People of the word. Why are there perverts like that in the world? WHY? Just cuz they can't get any? Or what? Those people don't deserve to socialize. That's mean. But I've got a thing against... yeah... stuff. Grrr.. I did meet a really cool girl there though. Her name's Heidi, she's twenty-three, blond gorgeous and totally nice. I liked her. I didn't go crowd surfing of course, cuz I didn't wanna lose my lil sis, but Heidi did. She did it for me. Hehe. She's real sweet. i really liked her. Mhmm. Stephanie knew like half of the ppl there. Lol. Like her whole high school was at that concert. Werd. yeah. I'm really tired. Really really tired. I get conked in the head by a flying elbow while moshing. it still hurts. Ithink I'm gonna have a bruise. I already have a big bump. Ew. yeah.. I wanted to visit Abel. He was actually there. he didn't recognize my voice at first. he caught on pretty soon, though. He's like when are you gonna come see me? lol. I told him I'm two exits away. But yeah, he was leaving. So he told me to go over tomorrow. Told me he'd stay home all day tomorrow. ... I sorta still didn't tell him that I have a boyfriend now. Ew. I'll tell him in person. I wanna see how he is with me first. Iono. I just wanna hug from him. I don't doubt that I would still love him if I hadn't met Noah. But Noah showed me that chemistry does not equal love. Cuz I had chemistry with Noah, yet he loves me also. Nothing can replace love. Not sparks or physical attraction or not even that song Abel wrote for me. Nothing replaces love. Those other things are very very nice... but true love is incredibly amazing. I'm so happy with Noah. Peter called me after I got off the phone with Abel. I saw it was him and I'm like "Hey, honey!" cuz I was excited to hear from him. And he's all "Um.. this is Peter." Lol. I think he though I thought he was Noah. Nah. Noah didn't even call today. Maybe he will tomorrow. I don't like talking to him on the phone anyway. It's just... weird. But yeah. Peter's so cute. He made my night. I love it when i get phone calls from people I love and actually want to hear from. I was so excited to hear from him. I love him. =) Steph does too. Lol. I think she was more excited than I was that Peter called. Lol. She wouldn't stop going on about wut a sweetie he is and what a nice/cool/cute/awesome/fun guy he is. Lol. Sure Steph. Lol. Couldn't get Noah? Go fer Peter. Not cool. But it's okay. She's recently gotten her heart broken. So I personally don't blame her. She can flirt with whoever she wants of course. I do wonder why she's so eager to meet Abel though.. maybe cuz she's heard so much about him? Meh. Peter just called again (2:00 AM). SO imma go!
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